Showing posts with label Weekends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Weekends. Show all posts

Sunday, November 2, 2008

This is a College Town



Rutgers - - Such a college town. 3am hundreds of kids running form party to party dressed up in all different completely ridiculous and awesome costumes. Red cups float through houses like pollen in the spring and the smell of marijuana is evident in all areas. Pizza available til 4am and Deli's open 24/7. 3pm, kids just getting themselves up, heading down to the local bagel shop and dining hall for an all too available breakfast when most of the time zone is finishing lunch or fixing up dinner. The walk of shame even more obvious when still in costume and kegs being rolled back to their home at Pete's Liquors. Awesome. I love it all.

Sunday, we all try to make up for the long weekend marathon by getting to the library before it strikes one. But we're all so lucky because the clocks just turned back, giving us an excellent extra hour of sleep. Yet another good weekend here at Rutgers. I have been definitely enjoying my semester more then in the past. I realized that I am definitely happy. Which I'm glad about. It's an ever prominent goal in my life. Happiness is literally the goal highest on my list, and all subsequent goals are essentially tactical goals to achieve my greatest need.

I don't think I'm going to exactly review the weekend because I do that too often, it was a classic Halloween. Costumes and beer, I was so sick from drinking on Saturday that I threw up at least 4 times slept til 2, went to eat(didn't eat anything) came home and slept until 5:50. Woke up, went to Philly for a bit, came back, and went out again. The most important thing to note about this weekend was that I was chillin with the NoG from last weekend(see last weekends post for a definition. I am becoming more attracted to her which is a good sign, I just need to not fuck it up by becoming the friend. So far I'm not there yet, but being a pussy and not making a move is not helping things because she is making it perfectly obvious what her intentions are, but its a difficult situation because she just got out of a long relationship with someone I am familiar with and she is what is known as a nice girl. Of course my favourite type of girl.

I am also happy because I feel like there is some consistency in the availability of fun now in my life. I am also happy because I feel that my ambition to get out there and party is having a direct and positive effect on the life of my roommate. He was sticking in the room and now he's coming out all the time, really working towards the goal. He's having a good time and I'm really happy about that. Its funny that my ambition now adays is getting out and partying. I really need to set some higher goals for myself. I need to find myself a job and an internship for the summer. I can't move backwards as much as I would like too. When you drain yourself dry like a raisin, you feel the need to bring back you're life. I definitely felt that need and now I'm feeling a bit lazy. It is what it is for now though, I'll find myself something to do.

I'm scared to go back to work, work changes things. I feel like I want to keep my life how it is in a way, I'm worried that working will bring in a whole new range of changes to my life.

Music.
I'm on the verge, I'm on the verge. Jack's Mannequin is a great, great band. If you're looking for something to listen to, and you want to check out something ridiculously awesome, if you're ready for greatness, listen to Jack's Mannequin. Their first album 'Everything in Transit' - I think its their first album but I could be wrong, ill refrase, their most popular album listed above, is so great. It combines catchy piano and keyboard melodies with simple guitar leads and drum beats and simply amazing lyrics and vocal melodies. Pick it up, very good feeling music with mostly major key tonalities, but when they go minor its also extremely well done. You feel that you know the lead singer really well, and that's an important part of connecting with this style of music.

I have extremely diverse tastes in music. I think everyone says that because they think just because they listen to hip hop and indie rock makes them diverse. I'd say it makes them more diverse then some. But I listen to everything from old school rap, gangster rap, hip hop, r&b, hardcore, metal, classic rock, jazz, classical, blues, indie rock, getting into techno, progressive rock, acoustic, jam, indie girl singers, and jazz singers. I think that might be mostly all I listen too. The only genres I'm not that into are punk/ska(too upbeat I think for me), and I don't listen to too much country(just never really got into it), I like both of those genres but don't really have them on my playlists. I think what differntiates me musically specifically is the blues/jazz that I listen to, metal/hardcore, and the indie girl singers(which a lot of girls are into but not so much dudes).

Ok, I would like to blog further and I might add to this later with somethings I forgot but I should actually study now since Im at the library.
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Sorry, I felt like being extremely immature for a minute there. It says 69 posts if you can't see it clearly. I kind of just wanted to play around with computer screen shots which I've never done before but I think I might do it more often from now on. I'm out of the library and feeling extremely tired. I felt like I slept pretty well too, this morning I felt so rejuvenate since I wasn't hung over as shit. Anyway, funny funny story. So I pierced my ears 3 more times. To literally quadruple my piercing count to 4. And no one had mentioned or noticed it, but I knew somehow that the girl that I slept with a little while ago that I mentioned would notice when I saw her. And less then 5 minutes into seeing each other again she noticed. Kind of weird right? Still the only one to notice. Strange how I knew she would notice and she did very quickly. I feel bad for her because she has been completely sucked in to this internship. It stinks but she loves it so let it be.

While I was at the library, the NoG was there, and I could swear that she saw me but didn't come say hi, and I was with my friend(who is like her bf) and they were texting but she didn't come by. This worries me. I know I'm being paranoid but either one of two things is happening, she is purposely ignoring me, or she just doesn't care enough to say hi. Both of which are bad by the way. I think I fucked this one up too. But there's plenty of time, I've missed golden opportunities with girls before and turned it around. It always depends on the girl. Chances are I will see this girl a lot more often.

I'm being really lazy right now, eating pasta, not going to the gym, not studying or socializing. I feel like I get this way alot by evening on Sundays. Lackadasical and somewhat depressed in a way. But really its not actually depression, just apathy I guess in a way. At the library I was talking with my friend, she wants to live together next year, seems like it might be a good idea. Just me, her and my current roommate. Or maybe one more, and a dog of course. I do like it here, but change is always good too. Something to consider.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sunday




Hello. Its Sunday again.

I'm definitely a fan of Sundays in general because they are a good day to just relax and get things done. I'm at the library now of course and I have to get my blogging out of the way so I can focus on studying. It's weird how much I think about blogging now, it's like Facebook where you just go on it all the time, I feel like blogging all the time. It's weird I feel like. But, anyway.

This was another successful weekend. Me and my roommate had a blast Thursday as you know, and then Friday came. Friday was fun, I didn't go to class like an idiot which I think I wrote about already and then I studied for a bit, went to the gym, and then went to hang with my younger sister at home. We went out to get some chinese take out and then came back home to watch 'The Life Aquatic' which is such an awesome movie anyone that wants a new movie to watch definitely pick that up!

After the movie I jetted back home and pretty much right when I got back I grabbed a beer, sucked it down within a few measly minutes and went over to our friends house. This kid is pretty cool, really cool actually I hope that I'll be better friends with him soon, but I was bored. Just drinking and kind of being a loner there because everyone was pretty much paired up with they're BFF and I was just chillin. So I bounced around 1 to go to my other friends house, had a good time and just bounced home around 3.

That was too many sentences for a boring day so I'll keep saturday short. Heres saturday in 3 sentences. Woke up, ate, gym, got ready, went to philly, (view picture up top) went to Paddy's pub with my friends from my ex-Internship. Had a good time there, love seeing those people, came back to NB around 1, went out again to my friends party, picked my other friend up and went to my other friends house. Ended up with my friend back at my house ordered some food and just chilled out.

Phew, that was pretty much just a bunch of fragments seperated by commas but who cares?

Two new revelations:

Music
I love wierd girl singers, ex. Feist, Regina Spektor, and all those wierdos, I think they're awesome. Check um out if you havn't yet. And no, I'm not gay lol( not that I have anything against gay's). So anyway, but I feel like the market is flooded right now. I mean you see these wierd girl singers all over the place now, just watch some MTV or go on Pandora.com type in Feist and see how many similar girls there are. I liked it better when they're were less of them. They're still awesome though. I guess its just like the new big wave.

Here's one example from Ingrid Michealson :

Here's one from Feist(Live - watch her sing its so wierd) -

I love nights out with friends and just kind of chillin, and drinking, and having a good time, not really going out specifically to get laid, I mean it has to be on the back burner of course, but not going out to huge parties looking for girls. I really came to realize this over the weekend because I have a much better time when I'm just trying to chill with my dudes and we meet up with some girls and we all just kind of chill around and drink instead of being packed in a basement. My new goal is to attend as many parties like this as possible.

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Ok, so last thing. It's getting too cold out. Anyone agree? I do.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Its been real

This weekend has been real. This week has been real.

Let me tell you about my weekend so that I can even remember it, it flew by and not too much exciting occurred but it was definitely fun.

Thursday: I actually did not want to go out for once. I just didnt really feel like it which is wierd, and its not because I'm depressed or something, I just wasn't in the mood. Cool huh? An Alchy like me. Stayed in, passed out pretty early and just watched some TV and shit.

Friday: This was a really cool night, drove up to CT with my friends and we went to see a show in New Haven. Of course I drove(my friends car lol) and it was like 4.5hrs there and 2.5-3 back or so. Not short when its 3am. I was a bit dissapointed in Trivium who I used to be a pretty big fan of but I feel like they we're almost trying to hard or not being who I thought they were from their album. Very full of themselves. Then All That Remains went on. Let me tell you, they were so awesome! It opened my eyes to how good they really are, catch riffs, head banging craziness, I actually went into the pit and went wild because I just really felt the music.

The wierd thing about metal is that, the feeling that it gives you is truely the feeling to go tear someone apart. Is that wrong? I dont think so, but its probably not for everyone, and I think that's something that I have to realize. Because I feel that everyone should love it because the feeling is truely empowering. I love it. Its not like going to a John Mayer or Coheed concert( two musical acts that I also love.) Its a different type of experience. So as a last word, if you like metal please check out All That Remains because they are totally awesome.

Finally,
Saturday: Good day? I'd say so. you know I had a lot of friends around on this day which always makes me feel good, and friends from all over. It makes me feel good to know that my friends from home still want to hang out and all that because its been so long since I have truely been home. So at 12noon Hanna shows up to my crib, they're are a bunch of people drinking because the RU game was starting(I literally woke up 11:45 and had two beers and a bagel for breakfast ha). Hanna and I of course went to go get bubble tea her favorite shizzle, and went to the mall to find her some shoes. Its fun to hang out with her, shes always good to hang with and talk to, and shes cute too so that always makes things good right? Then troy and austin met up with us and hanna had to bounce and we went back to my crib. Same kids were there drinking still haha, and we just kept drinking til like 7. Played some pong, ate some good food, and hung out with those kids who I havn't really hung out with in a while from school. The affection I get from some of these people is always great for me, I need it since I dont have like a steady girl, I need something. At the show friday I saw a lot of girls hanging on their dudes and it made me really crave that, I miss that. Anyway, they left and I took a nap(tried to atleast beacuse other people came and it was loud). Got up and max and 'neal?' came over, I'm really bad with names I've known this kid for like 3 or 4 years and dont remember his name. But they're both awesome to hang out with and really good to talk to. And thats that, passed out really early(well for a saturday like 1) and here I am.

I realized that one of my roommates(and not just one but one imparticular) is very much in my situation. Has friends but always kind of ends up alone somehow at the end of the night, and she's one of the most beautiful girls I know. Makes me feel bad for her because I feel like it makes her doubt herself, when she shouldnt. I think I should tell her that one day. So it has been real. This was an extremely detailed post. I dont usually go into so much detail I feel like with names and all that. I think I realized that its just like fuck it, this is me, this is my blog and if a friend finds it thats what happens, and it is what it is.

I think I'm gonna leave it there for now. And I'll hit ur ass up later. Peace.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Slam

Weekend.

Things were good this weekend. Had a lot of fun, and too much beer, and too much Keystone Ice.
Keystone Ice, let me make some suggestions for anyone considering drinking this beer. Don't. The next morning - late afternoon you will feel so terrible, it will make you so unproductive, stick to keystone light and just drink more. It will make a noticible difference. Trust me.

So I have been continuing to talk to the Ex, its been fun, its been interesting and brings back a lot of feelings and it feels like we've always been talking. You know? I know that if nothing we can be good friends for sure, I feel like I want to be there for her, and that she will be there for me in the future. And thats important to me.

Next, religion again. I have another note to make. Religion is too large of a player in this presidential race, and in our world. It scary. Its dumb. Think about it. All religion is there for is to make people feel better about themselves and their death. And the death of others. So fuckin dumb. It makes people dumber, it makes people put their blind faith into some rediculous ideal. It ruins people, and instills prejudice. Think about gay marriage, think about slavery, major wars, on going oppression, all created by religion. It attempts to legimimize the most rediculous things. It is what it is I guess though.

Watching pearl harbour. this is a pretty good movie. Isn't it wierd that Japan was such a large enemy of ours, we went from destroying them with the A-Bomb to protecting them with our army because they have no standing army of their own. A very honorable thing in my oppinion. I feel like im mispelling alot of things, but it is what it is. This girl in the movie is so cute, who is it?

I really have to make a legitimiate promise to myself to go to the gym and start running because I am slowly gaining weight, and being fat is one of my worst fears. I never understood how people were able to allow themselves to become so overweight and im not even close to being overweight but I need to get back to a six pack. Big time necessity. The more I fuck the more I lose wieght haha so I should fuck a lot too.

Talks.
I had a really good talk with my mom and with my roommate this weekend. Breakthrough talks you know? You know what you are talking to someone and you know that you connected with them on a new level, doesn't need to be to large a step but they let you in just a little bit more, and you let them in just a little more. I really enjoyed these talks, I think it will help me help them more, and vice versa most likely. Theres that much less to be known about eachother and that much more that can be learned. I actually learned surprisingly that my mom was pregnant before she got married, she was pregnant with my sister before my parents were married and did mention that that was certainly a factor in their marriage. No wonder, two children, and thirteen years later they divorced. They dynamic of my family is very interesting. My dad is his own person, my mom wants to be like other people, my sisters are both angry and happy, both so similar that they can't get along, and I have my own oddities and inticacies that stop me from being close to many, but do allow me to be close to all of my family members. Immediate family atleast.

I have to get ready to go to class now so I'm going to do that. Ill catch u soon.

Monday, September 29, 2008

A new outlook.

This weekend, Thursday - Sunday, was so awesome. Everything I could have hoped for it to be. But it did start off a bit bumpy.

I'm an idiot. My flight to Cancun, Mexico was scheduled to leave 9:35am on 9/24. So you could imagine my dismay when I arrived to the airport excited to get out to Cancun, and the lady at the front desk says that my flight left yesterday. I was going to shoot myself in the face. How could I not look at the date? I just assumed I was leaving with mostly everyone else and ridiculously I thought that the date did not matter. Lucky for me, for a small fee of 150USD I was on the 811 to Cancun leaving 9:35 on 9/25.

Besides that every thing ran smooth. Right when I got there I hoped in the hot tub with my homies, got drunk, met some people, and went out to the sickest club, Coco Bongo. It was off the chain. Next night, I went speed boating, ATVing, drinking, eating, clubbing, and did it again Saturday. I ended up hooking up with this girl from Puerto Vallarta( if thats how you spell it? too lazy to check). She was fuckin cute, I've never met a cute girl from mexico(well one), and this girl was way cuter. So I was happy. Open bar, VIP everywhere we went. It was just great.

Change of heart. Obviously after this, I am just loving the company. I paid about 300 for parking, and tips and things like that, scuba diving, but thats all, thats it. Company hooked it up. And my friends with the company are so awesome too that it makes me not want to leave them. This expeirence make me look back on my expereince, and I know that all the torture I went through really was worth it for everything I learned and everything I experienced. I would never have gotten to go to mexico like this, or scuba diving, or sky diving, or possibly to Utah to ski and snowboard(if I stay with the company a bit longer). And with the money I made I paid for that trip to Canada(I'm not sure if I blogged about that but maybe I will later) Thats a current debate in my head.

Stay? Is it worth it? My time? I think that staying a bit longer is worth it...

But is it?

I would get to go to Park City, Utah for free also. It would be awesome. So awesome. That company values working you're ass off now, and getting rewards later. It teaches you the importance of relationships, integrity, and balance. Unfortunately, a lot of my life during the internship with the company went against these values. I lost some important relationships by working too much, compromised my intergrity(because I was working too hard to push further), and did very little but work at the time(no balance). Now I am pretty much just laxing out so work then party now. Thats balanced I guess, I do see now more then ever the value of my intergrity, and the value of relationships. So maybe I had to compromise these things to truly learn their value.

How does one learn value? Maybe it is like they say, when you lose something, you learn its importance. I know for certain that I do not want to stay through the spring, maybe helping out here and there. Helping out with a visit with an intern, showing them the ropes, but not everyday all day, and not every intern. My problem is when I do something I have to go all the way. And unfortunately, when you go all the way with this internship its far because everyone is so awesome. So I push myself to the very brink, and I break. I cannot experience that again, not with this company atleast.

A new out look.

I kind of feel really good right now. I feel like I am hopefully on an up slope like I was about a year ago at this time. In Cancun I realized something about myself and about regrets. I am me. About 2 or 3 blogs ago I wrote that I wasn't exactly sure who I even was, that I was fake, and I realized that is false. I am me, this is me. I may take on personalities of other people sometimes while I'm around them a lot, but that happens to all people, and even with their attributes I still have a light of my own. People see my personality, and people enjoy it. I believe that. I realized it, while I was hanging out with my friends in Cancun and we were all hanging out and talking by the water and each of us had our very distinct personalities.

Even though at one point I may be quite, one point loud, one point funny, and one point mean, doesn't mean that all of that is not me, I am all of that. I can be all of that. I also realized that regrets are for losers. I will no longer regret any actions of my past or of my present. Why am I doing this? Why am I sitting here? I should be out? I shouldn't have done that, or left her, or eaten that. It's what happened and whats happening and it must be accepted, and only be used constructively to propel myself to the future.

I believe that I now want to do something with myself. I do want to begin to think about my future. I believe that I do want to own a restaurant/bar and I think that I will love it. And I know it will be hard, I have to brain storm ideas, and I'm sure that I will come up with something good.

Um, I think I'm done for today. Later.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Livin La vida Loca

I was sitting here, opened up to the blog page and then the title just came to me. Livin La Vida Loca, haha I don't know why. And then it made me think of the Thong Song by sisco, and now I'm watching the video which is a good deal. You know, its kinda weird how google owns everything. They own this website, they own YouTube, they own google lol.

Hmm, it's been a lazy ass day, just lazed the hell around. Did nothing, didnt go out to any parties tonight. I drank thursday and friday so that was enough I guess. Thursday holy crap, I drank this old ass liquor I had sitting around and ended up tossing up in the morning 3 times haha. I had to leave class and I didnt even make it to the bathroom lol. What a day that was, and then I was drinking by 8 oclock again lol. Thats whats good. I have also been really trying to push myself to flirt with girls better/ more naturally is probably a better description. And I've been doing pretty well, holding good conversations and not really leaving room for friendship trying to keep more a dominant roll in the conversation which I think has been good. I'm determined to get better at closing the deal by the end of this semester, hopefully by the end of the month, I just need to keep meeting new people.

Meeting new people, not even just girls, mostly though, is going to be the theme of this year. I want to broaden my social horizons. I need a type of action plan to do this, but I am positive that I can pull it off and meet a lot of new homies. Make mad homies, that is the plan. Bring some love into my life. Today I just lazed around with my roommate and watched like 50 movies haha, that not exactly meeting new people but it was pouring rain out, and actually, I met two new girls this morning and did awesome with keeping the conversation going and I think I put myself in a sort of good place in their minds. Success.

I need a life. I need a girl. I need to keep up my grades and motivate myself. I need to practice more guitar. I need a new toy. I need to sleep better. I need to be more comfortable with myself. I need to leave each day with no regrets, and progress with each day. I have to eat healthier. I have to go to the gym. I have to keep writing this blog.

I would like to buy myself either a new guitar, or something flashy like a nice big new tv. I do spend a lot of money, and I have to stop. But I have all this money coming to me now and I love buying new things haha, its a problem. I'm like a girl. I can't wait to pass out tonight, I think I'm going to take that melatonin and see how it works. I really love my bed, thats a plus right? Life has been pretty good lately, I feel really good about my decision to take some time off. I have been working nonstop since second semester freshmen year, and now its first semester junior year, I'll make sure to get a job before I turn 21 so that I just dont drain my bank account on alcohol.

Anyway, also, my ex girl friend messaged me on facebook. Which I thought was pretty damn cool. I'm sure she is just thinking about me and trying to see how I am doing, I know that there is no sort of romantic premise to the message but it was nice to hear from her regardless. We all know that I miss her and feel that the break up was mostlikely a mistake, but really, it was something that had to happen. I grew because of my time alone, and I did a lot of things I would not have done had we been together. Thats something that I never really realized before now. One great reason to write about you're feelings is that you open up areas of you're life and come to realizations like that, that normally you never would think of. Its pretty cool really. I told her we should hang out, and I really do want to, I think we can be good friends like we used to without and romantic involvement. And I think we should try to be friends like that, I am definitely mature enough and ready to hear about her boy friend or whoever and feel genuine happiness for her. Thats something I know in the past I was incapable of.

Damn my chest is so fuckin sore, I dont remember the last time I was this sore. I worked out hardcore at the gym like wednesday and today its fuckin hittin me, actually maybe thursday. I mean worked out both days, and today too but I did chest thursday. I'm trying to get myself back into the gym, back in shape. I'm gonna go because im getting tired. Goodnight.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Hardest weekend

I really worked fuckin hard this week. I spent ALL week preparing for opening weekend for marketing with this internship. It was rediculous. I really dont even want to review it at all I just worked I think a total of about 26-28 hours between saturday and sunday alone. Saturday night, I hit my breaking point. It was insane, I never was so drained in my life. I was running around, literally running, trying to get leads and I was just getting rejection after rejection, and I had such high hopes that I was let down so hard. I went to my last home, it was dark, cold, and I was alone, I tried to push so hard at the home to get the lead but they told me not to waste my time even dropping off my business card. It was pretty devastating that even my card would not be accepted there. I have never had so many people not be willing to give me the light of day. So anyway, after that I was walking away from the home, and it hit me so hard that I had failed. I just began to cry, for real, I cannot remember the last time that I have cried, its been years. The last time I remember crying is literally...maybe 5 or 6 years ago. It doesnt happen often. So anyway, I really got slammed. Sucked man. But I had a good night in the end just going out with some friends. Then got to bed early to wake up early. It was so loud in the house, its so rediculous, my roommates just screaming and yelling and being drunk and high, its annoying. Like I enjoy being drunk and whatever but I just feel like you have to grow up at some point, and being obliterated and then smoking a 7 blunts in the night isnt smart. Get some sense you know? I sorta actually am thinking that I want to try to smoke some J soon and see how it feels. Just by myself. A friend of mine smokes every night and then just hangs out on his own. I feel like doing that. I'm not like immaturely smoking every night or whatever, its really just for the thought provocation. I'm interested in exploring my mind really deeply, you know? I want to reach enlightenment, like Buddhist monks. Do I need to lead a life rid of all material goods? Beg for my food? Or scavenge? I totally lost track of my thoughts. Sucks when that happens. Anyway, I really just want to come to some sort of a realization.

Lets see, I had this really sweet dream the other night about this girl at work, and I dreamt that we were dating and I was like so in love with her. And I just loved showing her off, not because she was pretty but because of how amazing she was as a person. I would like explain to people she's not the prettiest girl but she is the perfect girl for me. I was so happy with her lol. Now I decided I gotta test the waters out. Give her a shot and see how it goes. I'm gonna try to get her to come out with me this week. If not, ill try next week, slowly work on her. She'll crack hah. I dont think itll be hard at all, having the confidence to bring her back to my place is the hard part, cause im a douche when it comes to that part. But i really want to have another siiiiick dream like that. I just love having dreams that I remember, and dreams that I enjoy. I really love being in dream land ha. I had this great string of dreams while I was napping earlier this week where I had total control of myself in the dream. Pretty much like supper intense imagining lol. I could fly around town, do whatever I wanted I loved it ha. So I'm heading out, I'll try to hit you with some more dreams later this week. Hopefully I actually get to sleep. Catch ya ass lattaa.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Saturday

Saturday night. I love um. I love work, I love it all. Oh angelina jolie's legs are sexy. Ha random but true, tomb raiders on the tv. I just got back from work, lost all my money in C-Low, I really am dumb. I was up and then I lost it all, just like I always do, so stupid! Whatever. So, yea one of the bar tenders made me take like 4 shots. I love when they make me take shots lol. Alright, so today I was informed that January 3rd would be our last day as a restaurant. Phew, crazy right. I almost am relieved that I might not need to work there next semester. I can find another job maaaybe, or just not work. Maybe find a job and just work 2 or 3 nights a week. Maybe not work at all, eh? We'll see what happens. I sorta have to work to pay for insurance on the car that I plan on buying.

But the thing is now, of all the people in the restaurant, only the bar tenders know. So I can't tell any of the other waiters, I cant tell the kitchen, the bouncers, I cant tell my sister! Insane eh? So I have to watch what I say, cause I was told not to tell anyone and I have to keep it a secret. Maybe I can convince them to let the others know. We'll see, but its not like official official, its just 95%, if they buyers don't have the money or they want to hire us all or something then its gonna be different. Hm. I dont want to work with anyone else, I love the people I work with. I feel like I may never see them, I almost know that I wont. Terrible. They do go to Clyde's alot, I can get in there, maybe I'll go there with them one day. New Years Eve with everyone will be so much fun! Exciting. Drunk all day :). I love this girl.

She texted me again today! Thats an angry exclamation, not a happy one. It annoys me its like a tease, even though obviously its just a text. Whatev. So I need to study, I just ordered food online which always takes atleast an hour so that I can force myself to study for a little while. Night!