This is a College Town

Rutgers - - Such a college town. 3am hundreds of kids running form party to party dressed up in all different completely ridiculous and awesome costumes. Red cups float through houses like pollen in the spring and the smell of marijuana is evident in all areas. Pizza available til 4am and Deli's open 24/7. 3pm, kids just getting themselves up, heading down to the local bagel shop and dining hall for an all too available breakfast when most of the time zone is finishing lunch or fixing up dinner. The walk of shame even more obvious when still in costume and kegs being rolled back to their home at Pete's Liquors. Awesome. I love it all.

Sunday, we all try to make up for the long weekend marathon by getting to the library before it strikes one. But we're all so lucky because the clocks just turned back, giving us an excellent extra hour of sleep. Yet another good weekend here at Rutgers. I have been definitely enjoying my semester more then in the past. I realized that I am definitely happy. Which I'm glad about. It's an ever prominent goal in my life. Happiness is literally the goal highest on my list, and all subsequent goals are essentially tactical goals to achieve my greatest need.

I don't think I'm going to exactly review the weekend because I do that too often, it was a classic Halloween. Costumes and beer, I was so sick from drinking on Saturday that I threw up at least 4 times slept til 2, went to eat(didn't eat anything) came home and slept until 5:50. Woke up, went to Philly for a bit, came back, and went out again. The most important thing to note about this weekend was that I was chillin with the NoG from last weekend(see last weekends post for a definition. I am becoming more attracted to her which is a good sign, I just need to not fuck it up by becoming the friend. So far I'm not there yet, but being a pussy and not making a move is not helping things because she is making it perfectly obvious what her intentions are, but its a difficult situation because she just got out of a long relationship with someone I am familiar with and she is what is known as a nice girl. Of course my favourite type of girl.

I am also happy because I feel like there is some consistency in the availability of fun now in my life. I am also happy because I feel that my ambition to get out there and party is having a direct and positive effect on the life of my roommate. He was sticking in the room and now he's coming out all the time, really working towards the goal. He's having a good time and I'm really happy about that. Its funny that my ambition now adays is getting out and partying. I really need to set some higher goals for myself. I need to find myself a job and an internship for the summer. I can't move backwards as much as I would like too. When you drain yourself dry like a raisin, you feel the need to bring back you're life. I definitely felt that need and now I'm feeling a bit lazy. It is what it is for now though, I'll find myself something to do.

I'm scared to go back to work, work changes things. I feel like I want to keep my life how it is in a way, I'm worried that working will bring in a whole new range of changes to my life.

Music.
I'm on the verge, I'm on the verge. Jack's Mannequin is a great, great band. If you're looking for something to listen to, and you want to check out something ridiculously awesome, if you're ready for greatness, listen to Jack's Mannequin. Their first album 'Everything in Transit' - I think its their first album but I could be wrong, ill refrase, their most popular album listed above, is so great. It combines catchy piano and keyboard melodies with simple guitar leads and drum beats and simply amazing lyrics and vocal melodies. Pick it up, very good feeling music with mostly major key tonalities, but when they go minor its also extremely well done. You feel that you know the lead singer really well, and that's an important part of connecting with this style of music.

I have extremely diverse tastes in music. I think everyone says that because they think just because they listen to hip hop and indie rock makes them diverse. I'd say it makes them more diverse then some. But I listen to everything from old school rap, gangster rap, hip hop, r&b, hardcore, metal, classic rock, jazz, classical, blues, indie rock, getting into techno, progressive rock, acoustic, jam, indie girl singers, and jazz singers. I think that might be mostly all I listen too. The only genres I'm not that into are punk/ska(too upbeat I think for me), and I don't listen to too much country(just never really got into it), I like both of those genres but don't really have them on my playlists. I think what differntiates me musically specifically is the blues/jazz that I listen to, metal/hardcore, and the indie girl singers(which a lot of girls are into but not so much dudes).

Ok, I would like to blog further and I might add to this later with somethings I forgot but I should actually study now since Im at the library.
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Sorry, I felt like being extremely immature for a minute there. It says 69 posts if you can't see it clearly. I kind of just wanted to play around with computer screen shots which I've never done before but I think I might do it more often from now on. I'm out of the library and feeling extremely tired. I felt like I slept pretty well too, this morning I felt so rejuvenate since I wasn't hung over as shit. Anyway, funny funny story. So I pierced my ears 3 more times. To literally quadruple my piercing count to 4. And no one had mentioned or noticed it, but I knew somehow that the girl that I slept with a little while ago that I mentioned would notice when I saw her. And less then 5 minutes into seeing each other again she noticed. Kind of weird right? Still the only one to notice. Strange how I knew she would notice and she did very quickly. I feel bad for her because she has been completely sucked in to this internship. It stinks but she loves it so let it be.

While I was at the library, the NoG was there, and I could swear that she saw me but didn't come say hi, and I was with my friend(who is like her bf) and they were texting but she didn't come by. This worries me. I know I'm being paranoid but either one of two things is happening, she is purposely ignoring me, or she just doesn't care enough to say hi. Both of which are bad by the way. I think I fucked this one up too. But there's plenty of time, I've missed golden opportunities with girls before and turned it around. It always depends on the girl. Chances are I will see this girl a lot more often.

I'm being really lazy right now, eating pasta, not going to the gym, not studying or socializing. I feel like I get this way alot by evening on Sundays. Lackadasical and somewhat depressed in a way. But really its not actually depression, just apathy I guess in a way. At the library I was talking with my friend, she wants to live together next year, seems like it might be a good idea. Just me, her and my current roommate. Or maybe one more, and a dog of course. I do like it here, but change is always good too. Something to consider.

I just like to write//Great night

Its weird that I write these blogs to myself. Secretly I want random people to read them and give me feedback, I think it would be interesting positive or negative.

Last night was awesome. I really expected it to pretty much be just like that too, I wanted like a fun night out just hanging out drinking not like spying out hoes and being in a random person's basement shelling out 5's every time the cops come(not to pay the cops but to pay for the new party lol). We hung out at our house for a bit drank watch some television and then we strolled over in the freezing cold(it was probably like 47 degrees or something(inside joke)) and we came up to a street that was even further out from campus then our own lol. But we had a blast, just chilled out, met some new people, enjoyed the company of a few old friends and both my roommie and I had like our 'night out girlfriend'.

Night out Girlfriend(NoG) - {the girl that you chill with all night, she hangs by you're side and you enjoy each others company, often leads to sex.}

So it was fun having them around. Both girls definitely wanted to hook up with both of us respectively(not an orgy). But by the time we left it was like past 4am and I just didn't feel like playing the NoG-NoB games any more, so I left. Hopefully I'll end up hooking up with her another night, but its good to know what my options are, right? <- this is actually a good girl too, and cute. Interesting. I'm going to post up here my new invention soon, its a mate chart to help you pick if a girl should be you're friend, sexual partner, or girl friend. It will help men all over the world make the decision in a few easy steps. Really its just taylored to my preferences. I have not yet completed it but once I do I'll have it up here, hopefully tonight or tomorrow for sure.

After a few hours of moderate-moderately heavy drinking we all smoked at my friends house. As you know, I am not a big smoker of the weed, but I really enjoyed it last night. I was crackin up all over the place, and my roomie was havin a blast too. I'm very happy overall.

The upslope has continued. I'm actually taking my younger sister out to dinner tonight, she needs that support. I may have mentioned that I was thinking about taking her out to lunch a little while ago, but that never happened so we're doing dinner instead. See how everything's going in her life. I know grades arn't doing that well for one.

Back to girls for a minute. Haha sorry I can't stop with it. Three quick topics

- girl from old job came over to do her laundry and we just chilledout, but its a good sign towards just hanging out with her more which could lead to all types of things.

- girl I had sex with a few weeks back that I've known for a few months(7ish?) sent me a multimedia message that makes me suspect to her level of attachement to me(as in she may be quite attached in a way that I'm not) and this girl is really cool so I'm not trying to fuck her over or anything at all.

- christian girl from home, she has kept in contact with me over the week and made a note to me that she is here again this weekend so chances are we will chill and I'll let you know how that goes.

Funny thing is sometimes I use these girls names on here and sometimes I choose not to. I wonder what the difference is? But if you can't correlate the names to descriptions through my blogs then just leave a comment and I'll make sure to clarify. Ok I'm going to actually get to reading for my management class now. (I got a 90 on another exam so that was a good deal).

Peace babes.

Dear Journal, its been a good day

Let me start with a small rant.

Just go on YouTube and type 'Fred' into the search bar. (side note; my roommates watching political video's which he really immerses himself in which is unhealthy i feel like in a way but we all have our bad habits lol I guess selective education isnt the worst, but he's watching them kind of loud and its annoying me, side note completed) Just watch one of these rediculous videos, I couldn't handle it. This kid must be making a ton of money from the YouTube partnership program because he is the #1 most subscribed all time and shit. Wow, I feel like thats just dumb, how rediculous? I just typed fred into google and its the same deal, the second one is his dumb ass.

Yes I am a hater. I am hating on him for being so popular for rediculously unfunny, annoying videos. I mean I watched this other kid who was kind of retarted but actually funny Dave Days, look him up that shits legit. I mean he's got clever songs, and its funny, watch the Miley Cyrus spoof totally hilarious. And its not in a wierd voice and all wierd, fuck that. Haha, this is funny too.

I just spent like 40 minutes watching more of those videos haha.

Anywayyyy, today was a good day, woke up, studied, went to class, watched a bit of behind the scenes to the movie, "Once" which I highly recommend of course and then went out to dinner with my old homies from work. Such a blast. I miss those kids a lot, I think we'll probably all see eachother a bit more often now that we saw eachother, everyone had a good time. Ok so I know I probably talk about different girls who I wanna fuck every blog, sometimes the same sometimes different but I have two more to post up here who I know I have spoken about in the past.

• One is just a girl I worked with a while ago and her personality is just so different and shes definitely damn cute but her personality just makes her so much sexier definitely makes me want to fuck her. So theres one.
• And two, is the girl I have been in love with for the past 2 years who I've mentioned many times. I recieved a Fbook comment from her and it just makes me want to slap her. I feel like I never want her to talk to me because it makes me think about her that much more. I admit to being jealous of the dude that shes unofficially 'with'. Very jealous. I would love to be that guy but unfortunately I can't be and it wont change. Its interesting that when I think of this girl I dont think about fucking her but more of just chilling out together...I dont see her as sexually, but i do see her as sexy. And most other girls I see mostly as pure objects.

I definitely objectify the shit out of girls. But not to their face, I want to change that...Continue objectifying them but just do it to their face more. I really should go to bed, I have an exam in the morning. I think I'm going to resolve to skip class in the morning and just go to my exam. Get a bit of extra sleep. That resolution makes me feel like continuing to blog. Everytime I think the word blog, I think about a scene in Californiacation(an awesome show!)

Eh peace

Freaked out morning

I was riding the bus this morning(not standing up thankfully) and I was hangin out on my iPhone doing that old deal when I came upon a facebook message. Totally freaked me out because the title was from one of my roommates and it read, "I am appalled by you're behaviour" or something like that and in the body of the message was a link to a blogger profile of course my heart skipped a few beats thinking she may have found this blog. Definitely scared me, but I guess I kind of have to let it be. I dont wanna be such a pussy that I'm so scared anyone ever finds this, if it happens it happens.

DISCLAIMER:
I appologize in advance if any of my friends find this and find the content to be appalling or unfair, rude, unlike me, mean, vulger, too sappy, sad, emo, and etc. This blog certainly reflects my many different moods at any given time, and each mood certainly contains a constant theme, that I'm sure is easily extracted.

I feel better having that little disclaimer in there. :)

So anyone that knows me probably now knows that I am inlove with the show 'It's always sunny in philadelphia' which is just the most awesome and hilarious show. And this saturday I will have the pleasure of going to paddy's pub which the show's pub is based off of. I'm pumped, so pumped. I hope I don't get stabbed lol.

Mmm, unfortunately I feel like I don't have too much to say...my roommate was just listening to some girl country singer lol, just thought I'd through that out there. Alright here's some news.

Theres this girl that I want to fuck so bad. Its crazy everytime I see her name on facebook on my feed I click it and stalk its so bad. I just think she's so sexy in a bad ass kind of way. Shes thin small and so sexy, great face too. Damn I want to fuck her more then anyone else for sure. I gotta make it my goal to fuck her before I leave school. Its doable, the only thing is she's friends with my Ex and when I was flirting with her before she'd be like but what about ur ex. And id be like fuck that bs.

I want to so bad be able to write a good song. Guitar's the easy part it could be two power chords, but with awesome lyrics and a good vocal melody and rythm it would be something completely new and I want that. I just have a lot of trouble puting my heart on my sleave like that for the world to see. Obviously look how much I freak just over the possibility that someone might see this lol. Singing a song to someone, even the idea of having someone hearing me sing in my room freaks me out because I know I can't sing lol. Im dumb.

It impresses me that a website like youtube can be sold after less then 2 years running for over 1 billion dollars. Isn't that insane? It's worth over a billion dollars, and that was a while ago, its worth way more now.

I feel like an asshole because I'm thinking I may not go to one of my friends parties and she obviously really wants me to go but in the end we probably wont even spend that much time together, its like an hour away and I dont really know any of the people that are going to be there. I just don't know how to tell her that I probably won't be coming. I dont want to be douche bag, nahm sayin?

Well I think I'm going to pass out. I'll see u

Girls, Girls, Girls

I dont remember what the last situation I wrote about last time. But anyway, I realized this week, and I do realize this from time to time but it is certainly even more clear now. There are so many sluts in this world, and at my school, and outside of my school, all grades. I mean, so many. And I'm not trying to put them down, do what you do, just live. Fuck, I'm trying to slut it up some more. I realized also that my game is at an all time high right now and it is only going to get better. I'm happy about that and ready to go out and give it another whirl with some more ladies. Obviously things are going pretty well lately, but I still do not have any real solid friendships or anything unfortunately. I have a few good friends but I really do think I need to expand my friendships with current friends and find new ones.

I worry a lot about pregnancy and getting STD's, and I dont think about it when I'm fucking haha. Its so dumb lol. But I'm not exactly trying to wait for marraige or anything. Hopefully I'm clean and I don't impregnate anybody. I really really hope. You know whats weird? We talked about religion a little while ago, and obviously I'm not religious at all. So why anytime that I need something that is out of my control do I immediately resort to praying? I'll think, man I pray shes not pregnant, or whatever. Please god help me blah blah. I mean I shouldn't be thinking that If I don't believe in a god necessarily...But I don't exactly not believe that there is a greater power or energy in the world, something greater then all of us. And this is what I may be kind of calling for. Its out of my hands, so who can I turn to? Only something greater.

Daily Dose

Its been a wild and crazy day. Ha, not really. I pretty much woke up late, went to class, library, chilled, gym, home. And here I am.

Here I am. So, I am keenly aware that every time I spot a girl, I immediately decide if I would fuck her or not. Under one second and my decision is made. I also realized that they type of girl I am most attracted to is probably in the 8 range. Not a 10. Why is this? My theory is that by basic psychological theory you are automatically attracted to someone at you're level, and you subconsciously know essentially what the best you can do is.

Ex. Fat people with fat people, pretty people with pretty people.

It is a rare occasion that we see fat people with pretty people. I know, it sounds mean. In general just calling someone a fat person is mean, but this is strictly unspecific so we're gonna let it slide. I guess I would consider myself an 8 then. Puts things in perspective.

I just ignored an IM from someone. I ignore IM's, calls, texts. I'm kind of douchebag(I know its two words but I prefer it as one). Look at me, striving to hit my goals. If being friends with someone doesn't really prove to be beneficial, I just ignore them. If being friends with someone proves to be beneficial, I'll embrace them. Sometimes I choose to embrace those who I ignore most of the time, out of convinence and need.

My relaxed life is great. My roommate is awesome, we both live a very lax life.

( Confession: All day I think of things in rhymes, like I'm a rapper or something, its wierd. Like im outty like mctouty. That doesnt even make sence. Just now when I wrote lax, in my head I thought lax like ajax. I mean, why? lol. I'm sure I'll stop doing that soon, I really only started thinking that recently. I'm also trying to think of a new catch phrase or word to begin using so thats partially the reason. I often create new phrases and words and people like it, so I keep doing it, but I have to continually update my vocabulary. )

My new profile picture is kind of creepy ha. Its a compilation of picture of myself mashed together and edited in paint. So, now you kind of know what I look like. I'm leaving for Mexico on Thursday and I'm so fuckin excited. It's gonna be so much fun. I hope it will be atleast. I read a book once about how we always overestimate how happy something is going to make us, and I am constantly trying to save myself from overestimating by resestimating. I am excited though. Hopefully I'll just be drinking all the time.

I told myself you know I'm not going to care about my health and this and that, maybe I'll start smoking, drinking all the time. But, unfortunately, I'm too cautious of a person. I can't bring myself to smoke all the time and shit. I have asthma and I know my risk for lung cancer is already increased by 50 percent automatically. Which is a staggering number. And I probably already smoke cigars once or twice a weekend. That's probably enough to increase my chances. I want to be a bad ass, and I'm just not. I wish being me was the coolest thing I could do.



Its funny how much things change from when we're little. Everything is nothing back then. That's my best friend and I when we were little. We'll he's not my best friend anymore, haven't spoken to him in atleast 9 years I'd say. When you're little, the difference between, right and wrong, bad and good, left and right, its so irrelevant, you're just innocent. I was walking to class, and a little girl out of a house delightfully bellowed, "Hola!" It made me feel so bright. I mean that girl said hi to me without knowing me, without even seeing my face, I was walking passed her 10 ft away, and of course I awkwardly replied, "Hola." She got so much pleasure from such a simple interaction, and she doesn't have a clue that screaming to strangers is probably not the smartest idea. But it definitely brightend my day. I walk down the street and I'll be standing next to someone, I'll be on the bus, smushed up next to someone, and neither of us will even recognize the exisitance of the other. We attempt to ignore eachother because thats easier, thats easier then getting to know eachother, its easier then communicating, its easier then a potential and likely awkward silence, its easier then judgment, its easier to enjoy the distant chatter, self provocing thoughts, and a 5 minute ride down 18 we've all enjoyed more then a few times.

Alright, we'll that'll be the thoughts for today. Thanks for hollarin!

I thought it was a good day

I was looking out of the crowded bus today, listening to music, and just looking through the trees at the sun. It was so beautiful out today and it really made for a good day. It made all of the walks between class and meetings and everything so pleasant. It enhances life quite a bit. I met with zack today, had a good meeting. Over viewed the weekend. I had a fairly successful weekend I would say. Booked a job, did 7 estimates, and we got 19 leads. My marketers do such a great job for me, but its hard to afford them. Working at daryl has not even covered the cost of marketers yet. Well, hopefully everything runs even better next week. Im pumped cause I have Zach coming out with me to 3 estimates this weekend. Its good to have him come out cause I guess it gives me an excuse to not book it. If hes there then I am not to blame for not booking the job. I just realized that thats the reason. But really even more importantly it give me a better chance at booking it I feel like. I mean he wants to book me a job bad since he didnt the first weekend so hopefully we book all 3 this weekend and I'll be so happy. I mean if we book one of 3 ill be pumped and then hopefully I can book atleast one more from next weekend,and one from last.

I have been thinking non stop about girls, honestly it haunts my thoughts. I just want a good girl. Someone to chill with. I would make room for her in my schedule and cut things out. I just want to have someone to connect with. Currently, I need that connection more then ever. I realized that I am back to junior year of high school.You know? I thought that I had never been in this type of position before, but I have. Junior year I had no solid friendships, plenty of friends but nothing super strong, I never really do anyway, but I also had no girl and pledged that the next girl that shows interest in me I'll date. And I did that, and it turned out great. I can't do that now though. I need a stong relationship. Someone I can really connect with and talk to, and have sex with of course. Hm, its interesting how everything works out. Here I am, 17 years old. I am just much more ambitious and driven then I was, I push myself to my limits instead of being bored. Its good, but I'm also ready for that vacation. Ready to hit europe. Get drunk. Smoke. Have fun, be a kid. I spotted some Wendy's cups and bags sitting down in the parking lot, and it just reminded me of when I was in HS going to Mcdonalds and taco bell and eating in the parking lot on a nice day. And just having aimless nights and days, who cares what we're doing now, cause we dont know where we're going after this. Once we had a hide and go seek game in our town! With cars, just for fun. It was such a good time, and a waste of time. I mean, I want to have more time for those wastes. Less for work. I'm gonna bounce cause my bat's dying. I'm gonna shower and get to bed. <3

Whatever

Just another night, like any other, had work, didn't study for exams like I should have, and remembered about how I love this girl and need to get over it. Never ends. I hate that girl. She sucks so so bad. I really hate her. I cant do anything about it. Whatever. Ha, I definitely write whatever like all the time in these blogs I'm gonna change the current title of this blog.

Currently I'm listening to 'Gravity' by John Mayer, really good song. John Mayer can really play guitar, some people really don't realize that, not that I'm like way above others in musical talent spotting, but I just think a lot may over look it because he also is a talented singer/songwriter, but his guitar player surpasses it. He can play great blues, and you feel it, he feels it, something I have a hard time doing. I can play well, and feel it when I'm really on, but not always, I need to always have that heart and passion.

I really wonder like, when and where will I ever find a girl that I'm going to fall in love with? Will it happen? I hope so.

Lately, I have been really contemplating just saving up to give myself a really great vacation. I'm so over school, I almost want to take a semester off, or drop out. What am I paying all this money for? I work so hard, and it pays off, but is it all worth it? Just for a degree? When will I see the true benefit of this? I like waiting and bar tending, why dont I just do that? Hm? Ha I know I cant really be satisfied in life by doing that, but I love it so much now, why not for my future. Fuck being a successful business man. I just want to go on vacation ok. Thats where this all stemmed from. My mom mentioned giving me like a 2 day ski trip for Hanuka instead of like a regular gift, and I'm so down for it, made me feel like, well why dont I just go alone, and relax? I want more time to my self as of this year. I like eating out alone now. I really just enjoy time on my own. I think I'm gaining enough passion here to write a good song, obviously an acoustic look at how emo I am. I am a total emo bag. Lol.

By the way, I am only half Jew, I think you knew that already, I'm not like a spoiled Jewish kid or anything.

I really planned on only writing like one paragraph. I'm going to try to write more often. Give my many readers more to enjoy. Personally, I just enjoy typing away here, my roommate is right there, has no idea that I have this blog...atleast I dont think haha, that would suck. This is really for my eyes only, and maybe people who have no idea who I am. If anyone who knew me read this, they probably would knew immediately who it was. Thats why I try to leave specific names and shit out. Like, steve or jessica, lol. You like those decoy names? Haha. I crack myself up sometimes, lol. I made a lot at work this week. Makes me feel good to make money for once lol.

Maybe I should start adding text adds to this blog. I already have a google adsense account, Why not? Just click um up for me. Give me a break, starving college student over here. Has no true love, no substantial income, works hard, and no real friends. I live a totally fake life. Completely. Its weird.

I hate awkward sex conversations. Why does this girl I was hanging out with tonight love talking about how much sex everyones had. Its annoying. Especially because she has herps and licks peoples faces. Its so annoying.

Ay. Where are the values nowa days? The only 'good girls' nowa days are like total religious freaks who wont even have sex til 5 years after marriage, are totally right wing just because of rediculous social issues like abortion and prayer in school. Its frustrating. Girls are on my mind a lot. Def constantly. Guess I'm not gay, eh? Well I know that much. But I know that I am a man of values, something that not many people I run into have. I'm good looking, value ridden, and personable. I'd think I would find a good girl, too bad theres nothing for me out there. If your a good girl, give me a hollar. Leave a little comment over here, maybe Ill get to ya ; ). Its time for bed. Catch you tomorrow.

Tell me im only dreaming, tell me hes just sleeping

Another one of those days I guess. Can't really get enough of them. I'm trying to type and listen to music at the same time and its not working to well lol. So, I woke up as usual, ate way to much for breakfast, had a bad first half of my work out and a good last half. Went to the library, pretty good library time. I got to thinking about a lot of stuff at the library. Really brought back some old memories of mine, with some strong feelings, really weird. I was thinking about this girl that I was in love with, and I can't tell anymore if I am, but it doesn't matter cause thats not going anywhere anytime. But what matters is how I felt at the peak of my feelings, so much confusion, it was so crazy and they just come rushing back very suddenly and then also very dull, like I know intense the feelings were at the time so I feel it but its just an image of feelings. But, its just crazy thinking of that again, I barely talk to that girl anymore, it really sucks. It sucks how every things changed. The only stable good thing in my life is my work relationships, and my sister. I love the people I work with and I love my sister. Shes always there for me, I had to go spend time with her tonight. My roommates have really just completely lost themselves I feel like. I mean maybe its me but how can I tell? They want to move, they want me to move with them, but I don't want to. I have friends in this house, we would be ditching 4 of our friends, just to move two blocks away, and for what? I personally have nothing to gain by moving, moving is only going to have me lose my dignity as far as I can tell. Ditching friends of mine, fuck that. They say, "its too dirty here," "we'll get more girls if were in a frat." Wow, the two lamest things I think I maybe have ever heard. Maybe I'm just not up on that whole deal. Maybe smoking weed and being in a frat are two really cool things to do. I would join a frat, but to get away from idiots like my friends, not to get girls. Maybe I would get more girls, but thats really a plus. I can get girls now. God damn.
I really am so glad to have my sister. It's the best thing for me right now to have her, family is really great in the end. I don't care if im not so close with my other relatives, my immediate family is really great. Im so glad to have them. I can talk to my mom and my sisters when I need. Its nice. My older sister is smart, and she can give good advice if she is feeling level headed. Who knows when shes level headed though haha. She's pretty sick right now, still there for me though, and I am there if she needs me. Its good. And her roommate is real great too. I hope that my sister doesn't go to grad school in California, I sometimes think I want her to go there so that I can visit her, but fuck that also, I can go there myself, she doesn't need to live there. Her and I will always be best friends.
Life is really such a weird thing for me. I never know really whats going to happen next, very unpredictable life. Last year I would have predicted this year to be better then last, and last year was great. Too bad. This is like a 80% worse year then last year. I have my guitar, I was really inspired to play today, I played so well. I love days like that. Its like I am a god on guitar on days like today, I feel like no one can do better then me on guitar. I think I should be famous or something haha, Its so great. I also think about how one of my roommates who's being a dick can't touch me on guitar, he thinks he can, but he ain't got it. Sorry bro.
I'm glad that I'm talking to this girl right now. She's not the best girl in the world, but shes smart, cute, and interesting. Enough for me to allot some of my time to her. Life is a little easier with someone to hook up with from time to time, it can also be more complicated. I'm bad at deciding when its right to take it to the next level. Whatever, I don't really care, I think its next level time though. I like the next level, its a bit more fun.
I love blogs because on a day like today, I can really just get my thoughts out. Oh life. I have probably said that like 30 times throughout my blogs. Interest in this blog has diminished, I'm going to go to bed. Later blog.