Weekend.
Things were good this weekend. Had a lot of fun, and too much beer, and too much Keystone Ice.
Keystone Ice, let me make some suggestions for anyone considering drinking this beer. Don't. The next morning - late afternoon you will feel so terrible, it will make you so unproductive, stick to keystone light and just drink more. It will make a noticible difference. Trust me.
So I have been continuing to talk to the Ex, its been fun, its been interesting and brings back a lot of feelings and it feels like we've always been talking. You know? I know that if nothing we can be good friends for sure, I feel like I want to be there for her, and that she will be there for me in the future. And thats important to me.
Next, religion again. I have another note to make. Religion is too large of a player in this presidential race, and in our world. It scary. Its dumb. Think about it. All religion is there for is to make people feel better about themselves and their death. And the death of others. So fuckin dumb. It makes people dumber, it makes people put their blind faith into some rediculous ideal. It ruins people, and instills prejudice. Think about gay marriage, think about slavery, major wars, on going oppression, all created by religion. It attempts to legimimize the most rediculous things. It is what it is I guess though.
Watching pearl harbour. this is a pretty good movie. Isn't it wierd that Japan was such a large enemy of ours, we went from destroying them with the A-Bomb to protecting them with our army because they have no standing army of their own. A very honorable thing in my oppinion. I feel like im mispelling alot of things, but it is what it is. This girl in the movie is so cute, who is it?
I really have to make a legitimiate promise to myself to go to the gym and start running because I am slowly gaining weight, and being fat is one of my worst fears. I never understood how people were able to allow themselves to become so overweight and im not even close to being overweight but I need to get back to a six pack. Big time necessity. The more I fuck the more I lose wieght haha so I should fuck a lot too.
Talks.
I had a really good talk with my mom and with my roommate this weekend. Breakthrough talks you know? You know what you are talking to someone and you know that you connected with them on a new level, doesn't need to be to large a step but they let you in just a little bit more, and you let them in just a little more. I really enjoyed these talks, I think it will help me help them more, and vice versa most likely. Theres that much less to be known about eachother and that much more that can be learned. I actually learned surprisingly that my mom was pregnant before she got married, she was pregnant with my sister before my parents were married and did mention that that was certainly a factor in their marriage. No wonder, two children, and thirteen years later they divorced. They dynamic of my family is very interesting. My dad is his own person, my mom wants to be like other people, my sisters are both angry and happy, both so similar that they can't get along, and I have my own oddities and inticacies that stop me from being close to many, but do allow me to be close to all of my family members. Immediate family atleast.
I have to get ready to go to class now so I'm going to do that. Ill catch u soon.
Showing posts with label Religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Religion. Show all posts
Monday, October 13, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Girls, Girls, Girls
I dont remember what the last situation I wrote about last time. But anyway, I realized this week, and I do realize this from time to time but it is certainly even more clear now. There are so many sluts in this world, and at my school, and outside of my school, all grades. I mean, so many. And I'm not trying to put them down, do what you do, just live. Fuck, I'm trying to slut it up some more. I realized also that my game is at an all time high right now and it is only going to get better. I'm happy about that and ready to go out and give it another whirl with some more ladies. Obviously things are going pretty well lately, but I still do not have any real solid friendships or anything unfortunately. I have a few good friends but I really do think I need to expand my friendships with current friends and find new ones.
I worry a lot about pregnancy and getting STD's, and I dont think about it when I'm fucking haha. Its so dumb lol. But I'm not exactly trying to wait for marraige or anything. Hopefully I'm clean and I don't impregnate anybody. I really really hope. You know whats weird? We talked about religion a little while ago, and obviously I'm not religious at all. So why anytime that I need something that is out of my control do I immediately resort to praying? I'll think, man I pray shes not pregnant, or whatever. Please god help me blah blah. I mean I shouldn't be thinking that If I don't believe in a god necessarily...But I don't exactly not believe that there is a greater power or energy in the world, something greater then all of us. And this is what I may be kind of calling for. Its out of my hands, so who can I turn to? Only something greater.
I worry a lot about pregnancy and getting STD's, and I dont think about it when I'm fucking haha. Its so dumb lol. But I'm not exactly trying to wait for marraige or anything. Hopefully I'm clean and I don't impregnate anybody. I really really hope. You know whats weird? We talked about religion a little while ago, and obviously I'm not religious at all. So why anytime that I need something that is out of my control do I immediately resort to praying? I'll think, man I pray shes not pregnant, or whatever. Please god help me blah blah. I mean I shouldn't be thinking that If I don't believe in a god necessarily...But I don't exactly not believe that there is a greater power or energy in the world, something greater then all of us. And this is what I may be kind of calling for. Its out of my hands, so who can I turn to? Only something greater.
Monday, September 22, 2008
This is my new way to pass my time and my to do list for this year
Now that I have all of this time on my hands( being that I am shed from the oppressive life of the employee), I think a lot more in general and then I feel the need to relay that on to my blog. It keeps me busy in not so many words.
This year I am going to try to accomplish a few things which I will write here, some of which I have most likely mentioned before but hopefully this will be clearer for you and myself as well. Lets call this a New Years Resolution of sorts, maybe an End of Year to the New Year Resolution.
TO DO:
1) Write some really great music
2) Force myself to sing and write lyrics to any great songs I create
3) Focus my attention on being creative
4) Make the lives of my family better
5) Set a Goal for my future
6) Become more of a douche bag
7) In reference to 6), stay true to my true self
8) Follow my heart
9) Find 2 new good friends
10) Fuck 3 sluts
11) While in search of sluts; also dedicate my attention to finding a girl who I can envision myself with, have intelligent conversation, and one who I find myself being extremely physically attracted to as well. Someone I would like to take home to mom, one who I will take home to mom, and someone new.
12) Keep up this blog
13) Open my eyes to new things
14) Have an adventure
15) Read a book, and finish it
16) Keep myself on deans list, receive a 3.5 or higher.
17) Truly forget and discard the idea of that girl, then become friends with her
A SIDE NOTE:
Well that should do for now. I want to quickly refer back to numbers 6 and 7. I was thinking today about my summer, and in particular two clients that I had dealt with. One was awesome, and the other terrible. One would make me feel terrible every time I even thought about going to their home, and the other made me feel comfortable going back there even to this day for some coffee. The one who made me feel comfortable reminds me of the type of person who I would strive to be in the future. I would describe the one who I hate as a douche bag, and I certainly do not want to be a douche bag like that and certainly do not want to keep up being a douche bag for the rest of my life. Its a semi-permanent goal and more a representation of a lifestyle and attitude change. The client which I thoroughly enjoyed said to me when I finished after I thanked them for being so great, "We like to think that we're working with the people who work on projects around our home," and this philosophy obviously transcended only household projects but everything they did in their life. Now and for the rest of my life I hope that I can be this type of person, who will always lend a helping hand at my own expense.
RELIGION
I have spend a good amount of time contemplating religion. It fascinates me how people connect with religion, with GOD. How they bring him into their lives, how it 'saves' them. Why does this happen, its quite a phenomenon. I mean, this type of things goes against all logic. It is completely based on faith and not fact. And it consumes people. I want to mention two cases I have studied of religious interactions. One is my friend who we will call Sandy. Sandy is extremely religious and we have spend plenty of time discussing religion with one another. She is perfectly aware that I am not overly accepting of the idea and I am perfectly aware of her love of GOD. And this is what makes our conversations quite stimulating. Also, I have been educated in the bible, taking both courses on the New and Old Testament. I have studied contradictory passages, passages that go against so much logical knowledge, passages encouraging slavery, the oppression of women and disrespectful acts that Jesus himself has performed. With that aside, while talking with her, I found that she really needs GOD because of her need for a father figure. And GOD is that for her. She has never had much interaction with her father, he is MIA. Not in her life at all. GOD fills a void. Now let me move to a band, As Cities Burn, they are what I would describe as Christian Hardcore. Every song either explicitly mentions Jesus/GOD or implicitly does. And a few of their songs mention their loss of their father early in their life, he walked out on them.
GOD as long as you're faith is intact, can NEVER walk out on you.
I think that this is important to note. People find religion when the need something more in their life. And they are convinced that GOD is what they need, that Jesus will same them. For me, their is just too much wrong with religion, too much close mindedness, too much illegitimate story telling. I cannot accept it. My friend Sandy tells me that GOD has presented so many opportunities for me to accept him and I continue to reject him. Unfortunately that is my choice, or fortunately that is my choice, I do not believe that rejecting GOD makes me a bad person. I keep myself open to all possibilities, but I cannot with a full heart ever say that I believe in GOD, and I can never really say that I disbelieve either. Who am I to know such a thing.
An idea like GOD is for no one to decide if he is a truth or a lie. If you study the origin of religions, it only makes one wonder more how anyone can put their faith so blindly in place.
Religion is a product of fear.
PART 2:
In class today, this is an early class so I'm already in an irritable state, but this is something I notice kids doing all the time and its just pretentious. The professor makes an extremely obvious mistake, why point it out? Its only for self gratification. Everyone notices, and if they don't it does not matter because its so simple that its not something that would destroy anyone in the future. The professor is embarrassed, pretends to be grateful for the comment, changes it, and we all move on. The one who mentions it then feels like they just accomplished something great. Why? Because you know that 8x8 is 16 and not 14? In the grand scheme of the problem its useless, the method is what matters. Self gratification is not necessarily a problem in many cases, you need to make yourself feel good, and you should make yourself feel good often. However, in that case it is pretentious and at the expense of others. There really is not benefit to such a correction.
My roommate mentioned today how 'our generation' his grandparents mentioned are obsessed with self gratification. I believe it. I like to satisfy myself all the time. I just picked up a great big brand new hdtv, only to make myself feel good, only to show others that come into my room how great I am. But its not really at the expense of anyone. Only my wallet. And my wallet doesn't mind.
I think I'm going to write up a list of things that I hate, because part of my old me is someone who would try to like everything, and everyone. I think I'm going to stop doing that. I know that in my blogs, I definitely write about things that bother me, but in life, I rarely think badly about people, things, and I try hard to keep that up. Lets become a hater.
I hate:
1) Anyone who thinks they're better then me(no ones better then me)
2) The fact that I can't get any girl I want
3) People whom are pretentious( see previous passages)
4) Close mindedness
5) Waking up early
6) Not being able to sleep
7) Corrupt Politicians
8) Losing
9) Standardized Testing
10) Coming up with things I hate
This year I am going to try to accomplish a few things which I will write here, some of which I have most likely mentioned before but hopefully this will be clearer for you and myself as well. Lets call this a New Years Resolution of sorts, maybe an End of Year to the New Year Resolution.
TO DO:
1) Write some really great music
2) Force myself to sing and write lyrics to any great songs I create
3) Focus my attention on being creative
4) Make the lives of my family better
5) Set a Goal for my future
6) Become more of a douche bag
7) In reference to 6), stay true to my true self
8) Follow my heart
9) Find 2 new good friends
10) Fuck 3 sluts
11) While in search of sluts; also dedicate my attention to finding a girl who I can envision myself with, have intelligent conversation, and one who I find myself being extremely physically attracted to as well. Someone I would like to take home to mom, one who I will take home to mom, and someone new.
12) Keep up this blog
13) Open my eyes to new things
14) Have an adventure
15) Read a book, and finish it
16) Keep myself on deans list, receive a 3.5 or higher.
17) Truly forget and discard the idea of that girl, then become friends with her
A SIDE NOTE:
Well that should do for now. I want to quickly refer back to numbers 6 and 7. I was thinking today about my summer, and in particular two clients that I had dealt with. One was awesome, and the other terrible. One would make me feel terrible every time I even thought about going to their home, and the other made me feel comfortable going back there even to this day for some coffee. The one who made me feel comfortable reminds me of the type of person who I would strive to be in the future. I would describe the one who I hate as a douche bag, and I certainly do not want to be a douche bag like that and certainly do not want to keep up being a douche bag for the rest of my life. Its a semi-permanent goal and more a representation of a lifestyle and attitude change. The client which I thoroughly enjoyed said to me when I finished after I thanked them for being so great, "We like to think that we're working with the people who work on projects around our home," and this philosophy obviously transcended only household projects but everything they did in their life. Now and for the rest of my life I hope that I can be this type of person, who will always lend a helping hand at my own expense.
RELIGION
I have spend a good amount of time contemplating religion. It fascinates me how people connect with religion, with GOD. How they bring him into their lives, how it 'saves' them. Why does this happen, its quite a phenomenon. I mean, this type of things goes against all logic. It is completely based on faith and not fact. And it consumes people. I want to mention two cases I have studied of religious interactions. One is my friend who we will call Sandy. Sandy is extremely religious and we have spend plenty of time discussing religion with one another. She is perfectly aware that I am not overly accepting of the idea and I am perfectly aware of her love of GOD. And this is what makes our conversations quite stimulating. Also, I have been educated in the bible, taking both courses on the New and Old Testament. I have studied contradictory passages, passages that go against so much logical knowledge, passages encouraging slavery, the oppression of women and disrespectful acts that Jesus himself has performed. With that aside, while talking with her, I found that she really needs GOD because of her need for a father figure. And GOD is that for her. She has never had much interaction with her father, he is MIA. Not in her life at all. GOD fills a void. Now let me move to a band, As Cities Burn, they are what I would describe as Christian Hardcore. Every song either explicitly mentions Jesus/GOD or implicitly does. And a few of their songs mention their loss of their father early in their life, he walked out on them.
GOD as long as you're faith is intact, can NEVER walk out on you.
I think that this is important to note. People find religion when the need something more in their life. And they are convinced that GOD is what they need, that Jesus will same them. For me, their is just too much wrong with religion, too much close mindedness, too much illegitimate story telling. I cannot accept it. My friend Sandy tells me that GOD has presented so many opportunities for me to accept him and I continue to reject him. Unfortunately that is my choice, or fortunately that is my choice, I do not believe that rejecting GOD makes me a bad person. I keep myself open to all possibilities, but I cannot with a full heart ever say that I believe in GOD, and I can never really say that I disbelieve either. Who am I to know such a thing.
An idea like GOD is for no one to decide if he is a truth or a lie. If you study the origin of religions, it only makes one wonder more how anyone can put their faith so blindly in place.
Religion is a product of fear.
PART 2:
In class today, this is an early class so I'm already in an irritable state, but this is something I notice kids doing all the time and its just pretentious. The professor makes an extremely obvious mistake, why point it out? Its only for self gratification. Everyone notices, and if they don't it does not matter because its so simple that its not something that would destroy anyone in the future. The professor is embarrassed, pretends to be grateful for the comment, changes it, and we all move on. The one who mentions it then feels like they just accomplished something great. Why? Because you know that 8x8 is 16 and not 14? In the grand scheme of the problem its useless, the method is what matters. Self gratification is not necessarily a problem in many cases, you need to make yourself feel good, and you should make yourself feel good often. However, in that case it is pretentious and at the expense of others. There really is not benefit to such a correction.
My roommate mentioned today how 'our generation' his grandparents mentioned are obsessed with self gratification. I believe it. I like to satisfy myself all the time. I just picked up a great big brand new hdtv, only to make myself feel good, only to show others that come into my room how great I am. But its not really at the expense of anyone. Only my wallet. And my wallet doesn't mind.
I think I'm going to write up a list of things that I hate, because part of my old me is someone who would try to like everything, and everyone. I think I'm going to stop doing that. I know that in my blogs, I definitely write about things that bother me, but in life, I rarely think badly about people, things, and I try hard to keep that up. Lets become a hater.
I hate:
1) Anyone who thinks they're better then me(no ones better then me)
2) The fact that I can't get any girl I want
3) People whom are pretentious( see previous passages)
4) Close mindedness
5) Waking up early
6) Not being able to sleep
7) Corrupt Politicians
8) Losing
9) Standardized Testing
10) Coming up with things I hate
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