Im a sucker.

I'm giving you two days worth in this blog. What an intense two days, what an epic two days. Ha, you will be disapointed by the word epic, because it certainly was not. Obviously, I'm ending the night at 1am writing a blog...That says it all.

I am remembering that the last time I wrote was at my work, writing a brief blog. Well that night was so great. I think I mentioned how I was looking forward to work, and how great it was. At the end of the night I was drunk, getting free drinks for me and my friends, my friend max and his friend nick came by, and I really love those guys, Max is such a great person, I dont know nick to well but he is a good friend of Max and he seems real cool. Anyway, I was drunk and I made so much money playing C-low, it was sick. Then my coworkers friend was there and I was just flirting a little bit with her, but in the end of the night after we left my place of work, me her and my two coworkers went to her place to drink a little more. And we played jax and I did some guitar. I am giving all the details away so if anyone involved reads this they'll know, but I dont really care right now. So anyway, I was feeling this girl, I always thought she was cute, but I was getting a vibe from her, and I know the vibe. I was really putting the game on her in the end just telling her im interested...I find out shes 29! Shes way older then me! More then 50 percent my life! Thats alot, but she seriously did want it, she was asking my co worker, "is he really 19, is he really 19?" I was like NO! But it is the truth so too bad, missed out on that cute girl,I want her, maybe soon. She wont, too old, damnit!

So then we went to Shana's, yup I have up a name, my coworker, I'm to drunk to care about secrecy right now. We hit 711 and got mad food, I paid since I made that money, and we talked like all night about how I like this girl who's party I hit up tonight. Its like, ahhhhhh, you know, ive written multiple times, I love this girl, shes too much for me! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! i'll never get it, I hate this whole thing. its killing me, thats why I'm here early tonight. Typing. So stupid. I could be having a good time getting drunk where I work or something, If I was over this girl I could be at her place having fun. I'm so stupid. So fuckin Stupid. I'll never get over it, and I'll never learn.

Lets roll over to today, (ps last night I went to bed at 6 and slept on my friends floor), ok so today I woke up, got my contacts in and got some food.

I really dont understand some people, I ordered coffe and a bagel at dunkin donuts, and I saw this girl and she was definately feeling down, my order cost me 3 dollars, and I felt bad for her so I tipped 2 dollars, 66 percent. Thats good. And she didnt even acknoledge me, stilll! Like really! say thank you? look at me? anything, she didnt even look at me! And then I got my bagel and neither did the guy who got it for me...like im nothing? No attention to me. I said thank you so much, he doesnt even look at me, piss me off.

Thats that. I went to go see the girl I'm hooking up with off. Went to chill a bit. Shes leaving for Cali. So I went there, chilled, she's cute, but she complains too much. Lets continue...I proceeded to go buy kegs like a bitch for the girl I like, I fucking hate it, why did I help her? I'm a bitch, I'm really getting upset right now, this is going to be the longest blog I have. She makes me feel so low. Like scum. Why do I deserve to try so hard, and get nothing? I really want this girl, and I cant have her, I never will, and I'll never give up, ahahdg;alkjg;aoidjga;odisjf! I couldnt even write ahhh, too frustrating. Insane. So work was alright, just played CLow made some money and hung out, drank plenty of vodka on the job, but its all good,. Ate some whipped potatoes, normal night. I dont know where my train of thought was, but I am going to steal so much stuff from work now that I know were closing, I'm stealing the shit out of it, fuck that place! fuck it!

I am going to miss my co workers so much.

Fuck the manager.

Fuck. So after work, I went to Rachel's, thats code for the girl I love from now on. Rediculous, I had a real good time with my boys, but thats not enough, I need attention from the ladies, pretty much rachel especially but it doesnt happen. The only girl I get any attention from is girls I'm not interested it. I would hook up with some of them, but its not enough for me when the big R is around. Not enough. I'm a sucker. I'm changing the title right now. I can't win. I cant wait for new years eve, I'm getting so drunk. SooooooooooOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOoooOOOOOooooo DRUNK! I think maybe I may be an alchy soon. I hope not. Listen, I cant even express my feelings right now, I need to go to sleep. Good convo,loove you, good night!