How dare I call this love, and not bear my cross till the end!

I'm at the library, I should be studying but I thought I would relax and get my most up to date thoughts out. Today has been a pretty regular day, went to three of my four classes, no work, ate, went to the gym, whatever. Last night I smoked, and I really rarely smoke, I have been trying to give it up for good, but I guess every once in a while is no big deal. It was like 20 after midnight and my friend called me up(I got caught up playing Halo 3), and forgot to go over to her place to drop off and application to the restaurant where I work. But anyway, of course they were rolling a blunt right when I walked in haha, I'm pretty sure everytime I have been there this year they were about to smoke. Everyone smokes even more then last year now, its weird. For some reason, I feel like smoking is just childish. Personally, I feel like its something that if you do it a few times, you have the experience and you should move away from it. But then why don't I feel the same way about drinking? I like to drink usually twice a week, maybe because its much more socially acceptable? If you smoke weed your a pot head, but if you dont drink your probably not fun. Maybe thats just it, I dont really want to be categorized as either of those. Where I am not however, not smoking, does get me categorized by some as not fun.
Sunday was a good laid back day I guess. Don't have to work sundays, just have to get to the gym after I wake up, and get to the library. Lately, music has been on my mind more. I'm always listening to music if I'm alone, set up the playlist on my iPhone. This one song really strikes me, or really this band has caught my attention for a while now. As Cities Burn is the band, and their song, "One: Twenty-Seven" is one that really gets me thinking, its super emotional, as all of their music is I guess. The line that makes me think is, "...How dare I call this love, and not bear my cross till the end?" What does that even mean? I have been trying to figure it out. I need to listen closer to the rest of the song, then Ill let you know what I've discovered lol. I really really need to get strings for my guitar, I popped one, then popped one on my friends, it sucks not being able to play my baby, my one true love. Thinking about her makes me pretty happy. I spent only 440 dollars to get her, and shes just everything I ever wanted. Any experienced guitar player knows that you can't get anything good for 440, really for under 700 and some maybe go higher then that. But I ended up with a new Schecter C-1 Classic, so beautiful, just has a small chip, so I got a great price on her. Love it. Anyway, I really need to start my work, maybe ill write later tonight. I have really been wanting to write like a book for the longest time, my life from when I was little to now I think has been pretty unique and interesting, not very middle class regular old life, maybe ill write a bit about it, great comedic possibilities haha. Exciting.