Now that I have all of this time on my hands( being that I am shed from the oppressive life of the employee), I think a lot more in general and then I feel the need to relay that on to my blog. It keeps me busy in not so many words.
This year I am going to try to accomplish a few things which I will write here, some of which I have most likely mentioned before but hopefully this will be clearer for you and myself as well. Lets call this a New Years Resolution of sorts, maybe an End of Year to the New Year Resolution.
TO DO:
1) Write some really great music
2) Force myself to sing and write lyrics to any great songs I create
3) Focus my attention on being creative
4) Make the lives of my family better
5) Set a Goal for my future
6) Become more of a douche bag
7) In reference to 6), stay true to my true self
8) Follow my heart
9) Find 2 new good friends
10) Fuck 3 sluts
11) While in search of sluts; also dedicate my attention to finding a girl who I can envision myself with, have intelligent conversation, and one who I find myself being extremely physically attracted to as well. Someone I would like to take home to mom, one who I will take home to mom, and someone new.
12) Keep up this blog
13) Open my eyes to new things
14) Have an adventure
15) Read a book, and finish it
16) Keep myself on deans list, receive a 3.5 or higher.
17) Truly forget and discard the idea of that girl, then become friends with her
A SIDE NOTE:
Well that should do for now. I want to quickly refer back to numbers 6 and 7. I was thinking today about my summer, and in particular two clients that I had dealt with. One was awesome, and the other terrible. One would make me feel terrible every time I even thought about going to their home, and the other made me feel comfortable going back there even to this day for some coffee. The one who made me feel comfortable reminds me of the type of person who I would strive to be in the future. I would describe the one who I hate as a douche bag, and I certainly do not want to be a douche bag like that and certainly do not want to keep up being a douche bag for the rest of my life. Its a semi-permanent goal and more a representation of a lifestyle and attitude change. The client which I thoroughly enjoyed said to me when I finished after I thanked them for being so great, "We like to think that we're working with the people who work on projects around our home," and this philosophy obviously transcended only household projects but everything they did in their life. Now and for the rest of my life I hope that I can be this type of person, who will always lend a helping hand at my own expense.
RELIGION
I have spend a good amount of time contemplating religion. It fascinates me how people connect with religion, with GOD. How they bring him into their lives, how it 'saves' them. Why does this happen, its quite a phenomenon. I mean, this type of things goes against all logic. It is completely based on faith and not fact. And it consumes people. I want to mention two cases I have studied of religious interactions. One is my friend who we will call Sandy. Sandy is extremely religious and we have spend plenty of time discussing religion with one another. She is perfectly aware that I am not overly accepting of the idea and I am perfectly aware of her love of GOD. And this is what makes our conversations quite stimulating. Also, I have been educated in the bible, taking both courses on the New and Old Testament. I have studied contradictory passages, passages that go against so much logical knowledge, passages encouraging slavery, the oppression of women and disrespectful acts that Jesus himself has performed. With that aside, while talking with her, I found that she really needs GOD because of her need for a father figure. And GOD is that for her. She has never had much interaction with her father, he is MIA. Not in her life at all. GOD fills a void. Now let me move to a band, As Cities Burn, they are what I would describe as Christian Hardcore. Every song either explicitly mentions Jesus/GOD or implicitly does. And a few of their songs mention their loss of their father early in their life, he walked out on them.
GOD as long as you're faith is intact, can NEVER walk out on you.
I think that this is important to note. People find religion when the need something more in their life. And they are convinced that GOD is what they need, that Jesus will same them. For me, their is just too much wrong with religion, too much close mindedness, too much illegitimate story telling. I cannot accept it. My friend Sandy tells me that GOD has presented so many opportunities for me to accept him and I continue to reject him. Unfortunately that is my choice, or fortunately that is my choice, I do not believe that rejecting GOD makes me a bad person. I keep myself open to all possibilities, but I cannot with a full heart ever say that I believe in GOD, and I can never really say that I disbelieve either. Who am I to know such a thing.
An idea like GOD is for no one to decide if he is a truth or a lie. If you study the origin of religions, it only makes one wonder more how anyone can put their faith so blindly in place.
Religion is a product of fear.
PART 2:
In class today, this is an early class so I'm already in an irritable state, but this is something I notice kids doing all the time and its just pretentious. The professor makes an extremely obvious mistake, why point it out? Its only for self gratification. Everyone notices, and if they don't it does not matter because its so simple that its not something that would destroy anyone in the future. The professor is embarrassed, pretends to be grateful for the comment, changes it, and we all move on. The one who mentions it then feels like they just accomplished something great. Why? Because you know that 8x8 is 16 and not 14? In the grand scheme of the problem its useless, the method is what matters. Self gratification is not necessarily a problem in many cases, you need to make yourself feel good, and you should make yourself feel good often. However, in that case it is pretentious and at the expense of others. There really is not benefit to such a correction.
My roommate mentioned today how 'our generation' his grandparents mentioned are obsessed with self gratification. I believe it. I like to satisfy myself all the time. I just picked up a great big brand new hdtv, only to make myself feel good, only to show others that come into my room how great I am. But its not really at the expense of anyone. Only my wallet. And my wallet doesn't mind.
I think I'm going to write up a list of things that I hate, because part of my old me is someone who would try to like everything, and everyone. I think I'm going to stop doing that. I know that in my blogs, I definitely write about things that bother me, but in life, I rarely think badly about people, things, and I try hard to keep that up. Lets become a hater.
I hate:
1) Anyone who thinks they're better then me(no ones better then me)
2) The fact that I can't get any girl I want
3) People whom are pretentious( see previous passages)
4) Close mindedness
5) Waking up early
6) Not being able to sleep
7) Corrupt Politicians
8) Losing
9) Standardized Testing
10) Coming up with things I hate
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