This is what real men keep quiet

Hm, life has been very different lately. I guess consistent with this whole semester tho. Tonight I'm back at school, in my bed wearing a hat and gloves cause our heating is broken. No good, but i guess im OK right now, not too cold. I'll review this weekend, it went by so slowly i feel like, I can't believe that thursday was only a few days ago. Wierd. Anyway, so Wednesday was a really good day, I mean its the biggest drinking holiday of the year supposedly, 'thanksgiving eve', and I got to bartend the back bar with one of our old managers who is a ballin bartender, so that was cool. Didnt make extravagant amount of money, but we didnt do so bad either. That was fun anyway, just enjoyed myself and very relaxed. Then Thursday was thanksgiving and I usually am not much for family, but lately I just take my family a little lighter and I am more of a sarcastic person around then, usually Im just shy around them which is not fun. But that was fun for the first half and then I just switched moods and wanted to get out of there lol, I dont know why. But I stayed home that night and woke up, went to the gym, and then out to work. Work was alright, I made alright money and then blew it all on C-low lol, im stupid but its ok, its really all for fun. I feel like most of my fun is at work. I cant help but think about how my friends are going to move next semester and I have to decide where I am going to live now. I cant keep my mind off of it. I feel a bit betrayed really.
So hm saturday I luckily had off, and I had a nice day, I went out to lunch with an old friend, went to see a movie with my mom and sister and then went to chill with my homies for a while, and then went to my work to chill, and I didn't plan on drinking and I got forced to by one of the bartenders, which was fine with me haha. I love it there. Like who goes to a place where they work for fun? Only us, or probably a lot of restaurant workers, but that really was lots of fun. I felt really accepted by the veteran of bartenders because he gave me all those drinks ha, it was nice of him to accept me that way. I wish I was 21 so I could really go out with my work friends. Whatever though, I have a good enough time. After that I went to chill with this girl, didn't bring a condom so nothing real serious happened. Stupid. I've been waiting for shit to go down, and it turns out so was she so thats good to know for next time. Woke up and brought the car home since I didn't want to drive after drinking. Mom didn't ask too many questions which was nice. Just slept off my exhaustion til like 1 this afternoon. But im so tired again now. I think I may have come down with mono, my sister has it, and I just have a terrible head cold, real stuffed up, my nose, ears, and my head hurts a bit, we'll see. Hopefully I get better soon. This cold house wont help.
I have been having a lot of religion talks lately. A really good one with my friend hanna, and a bad one with my boss lol, he wont listen to anything, I don't really understand the whole religion thing so much, imparticular right now christianity and judaism. Too many holes.
On to the title. I named it that because its a lyric from a song but it is something that relates to two parts of my life right now. One: If u listened to the song ud understand but you wont right now but because I am currently hooking up with this girl who I think wants more, and I don't, at least not right now. and Two: because I am considered a "nice guy" an image that I dont want to get rid of, an image that is true to my personality, but its not what girls want, I am considered and I quote a, "cute, hott, gentleman", and thats all I am. Not that I have trouble getting girls really but, the nice guy thing does not work in my favor, its more a friend attribute if you know what I'm saying.
Last but not least, my ex imed me today which was actually pretty surprising and really nice. I do actually think about her a lot oddly enough, Its been over a year, but she was everything that I want, and I have not found that again, I just feel so much like I would date her again in an instant, but I shouldn't nor should I make her make a decision like that, what if I hurt her again? That would be terrible, really. So Im tired of typing and Im going to bed, just wanted to get all of that out there. Hope nobody actually reads this. Later.