Down

Im feeling down right now. It's really only because I'm really tired and my roommate situation has been increasingly frustrating for me. I just keep getting the feeling that he's only here because he has to be you know? And its like, why am I going to try to get him to come out or set up things to do, and things if its just not going to make anything change. I shouldn't do it if he's just going to go home every chance he gets because that attitude is a drain on me. I just need to do things for myself. I mean its not like he ever sets plans himself unless they're to go home, and usually the only time he's interested in going out is if our friend ange is involved. I have been procrastinating a lot! I just cannot focus on anything because I'm so distracted by making things like that up top. That Banner is pretty baller too! I'm so ballin at this. I think I blogged yesterday? Right? This weekend was awesome and this has been a great semester. Haha Dharma and Greg, gets me everytime lol.

I'm going to take some NyQuil, shower. And passout. Peace.

Sorry I've been gone

Hey bros. I know its been a while, I'm sorry. I've been busy, less enthused to blog for some reason. Been playing music, playing with pictures { aka top photo } hangin with friends, studying and drinking. Going on the official start of week 4 of being sick. Kind of curious if I'm just still sick because of my bad habits. We'll see. But anyway, that banner is pretty baller right. I'm pumped about it I love it. I think I'm going to make it our top pic on the page. Click on it and check out the myspace.

This was another great weekend. Absolutely aweseome. This is officially one of the best semesters of my college career. Probably first semester freshmen year and then this semester, second semester freshmen year, and first semester sophmore year. Thats the top semesters order probably...Hmm not sure though. But I think thats about right, yea. I've got to take a shower. I was petting my dog and got her dander all over me and I get so allergic and itchy. I should shave too. I'm like a grizzly bear.

I love the song Paper Planes by MIA. Awesome.

I feel like I've been gone a while

I know I only skipped one day but I feel like I haven't really blogged in a while. My space bar is hard to press down right now and is rising back up slowly, its pissing me off. So.

I mentioned how I went to spend some time with my dad this weekend. My dad is big into astrology. So we we're talking about how I was getting interested in astrology and that I related with Pisces a lot, and I said the only part that I don't feel is really me is 'weak willed' which if you look into previous blogs I mentioned this. My dad, the genius that he is, said that's because of my 'ascending sign' { I think that's what he called it' which has to do with the time you're born and all that is Capricorn, and Capricorn's are extremely strong willed. You're ascending sign is the way people view you. Which is so interesting. Because I think that's definitely true. I have been called regularly almost every descriptive term of a capricorn. Specifically, they are looked up to as 'ballers' one might say { Really I would only say it like that, and that they tend to be Work-a-holics, they also mentioned that people see them as odd { and I believe that a lot of people probably see me as odd }. An odd-baller that is.

Personally, I do feel that I relate with a lot of parts of that sign, particularly, the idea of being hard working, always needing to strive to be the best and not knowing why. But I wouldn't consider myself a pessimist which is a characteristic of Capricorn. The funny thing is that Capricorn and Pisces are good match for relationships, I'm essentially an all in one combo right here.

I have finally been paid! Once it clears, and it may take a while... I'll get my tattoo, or maybe I will just use my CC and pay it off when the money transfers. I also want to buy a new pair of glasses.

Great Nights with no Plot

This weekend was actually really good. And I only drank one night out of the week. That's a record. It's because I'm still sick, I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. But anyway, so Thursday did nothing, Friday went to see Role Models, and yesterday I went into the city for a nice lunch with my dad, his girl friend, and my sisters. After that my dad, sister and I went to go see Madagascar 2 which was honestly really funny. I need to go watch the first one now because I've only seen some of it.

My sister and I got back on the train home around {615} and we were both feeling sick. But spending time with my younger sister is always good for both of us. She needs time with me and as much as I need time with her. She is definitely the youngest. She needs me to be there as her older brother. And she needs my sister to be there as her older sister but our older sister can't see the value in accepting her. In the past our younger sister was a pain, and received a ton of special treatment, and now she does continue live a less restricted life then both my sister and I enjoyed, but that's just the nature of parenting. Its a learning process. And my younger sister is a special case. She may still stretch the truth, and she may still be a bit bratty sometimes. But some of what she learned is a direct result of watching my older sister. In no way is my older sister a liar, however, she does feel entitled to special treatment as far as doing her part around the house. So, anyway, one day my older sister will see that our younger sister needs her love, and that she is deserving of it. For my entire immediate family, the only family we have is our immediate family. My mom, dad, and the three of us. There is barely of glimmer of valuable family relationships past this. And in the future, my sisters will both be glad to have each other. Because whether they see it or not, the love between us is truly unconditional.

Ok, so after that tangent, I went to band practice, which was great for 15 minutes and then we just sat around and chilled. Got beer, went to my place, and had a blast chilling out. Some of my roommates friends came by and we just hung out drank, got food, played music and laughed and had a blast. Its those nights which make me feels so good. Makes me feel good to have these people that I love around me, and these people that I truely enjoy their company, and that enjoy mine. I most of the band yesterday that I was in for the long haul. That I was willing to quit school if we got signed, which I mentioned in the past I see as a far off goal { I don't want it to seem like I see it as an immediate possibility, a lot of things must change in the band first }, but we have the potential. And there is no group of people I would rather play music with. The music is great if you're into the genre and the music is continuing to evolve and everyone is awesome. Alright, I'm going to go take a shit and then get to work.

Friday Night Lights

It's been a day.



Just a day. One of those days. Not particularly stimulating. I went to bed feeling pretty sick, woke up feeling pretty sick, and now I'm feeling pretty sick. I have been feeling increasingly annoyed towards each of my roommates. For different reasons. If you read the last post about those passive aggressive notes then you'll have one reason. My roommate { the one actually in my room } has been getting on my nerves as well. Two reasons:

1. His lack of motivation: If I did not have a desire to go out, we would be staying in watching you tube videos all day every day. If I did not have a desire to go to the gym, we would be extremely fat. Those are a few prime examples, probably the ones that get me annoyed the most.

2. His need to watch news all day. He watches YouTube videos about Ron Paul and Bush, and Nader. Then we watch Jon Stewart, Colbert, and then turn it to MSNBC, CNN, Fox. Then when that's done, he'll watch more news related Youtube videos. I'm not sure exactly why this annoys me. It's just that it gets annoying to have to be around news all the time. And it consumes him. He gets all of his opinions from these videos. Whatever.

So Obviously its Friday night and I'm not out. Mostly, that's not by choice. I am glad that I stayed in. But the fact that it took until 1030 for me to find out about anything that was going on, kind of annoyed me. I texted a bunch of my friends to see what they were doing. And the only ones that texted me back were'nt doing anything either lol. Rutgers. What a place. I was stressing out because I couldn't find anything to do and my friends we're supposed to come up. They ended up not coming because by 9 I had nothing in the works. By 10 I went to the movies to go see ''Role Model's''. Good movie. I really did thoroughly enjoy it.

This morning { around 11am } I was at Au Bon Pain and I spilled Tea all over my laptop, my backpack and the table. It sucked. My laptop didn't function properly for a few hours. Now its completely back to normal. It was funny though, slowly things would get better, all of a sudden a function would start working again, and then another one. Now its back to normal. Then! I was at my house and I spilt water all over my phone. I think that's back to normal now too, but it wasn't for a while. Boo.

Passive Aggressive Notes

This is a passive aggressive note. So annoying. When you live in a house, these things happen. People hate confrontation so much that these notes take the place of uncomfortable situations. This note has been sitting on the sink in my kitchen for at least 13 hours now. Annoyed? Yeah, I'm annoyed. I have to be the one to endure confrontation with the culprit because is so annoyed. If this was the house I was in last year I wouldn't have cared about the minimal mess. It took a lot more before we got these notes last year. But we had um. I'm going to keep documenting these notes and posting them up here and on this sweet website I just found Passive Aggressive Notes dot Com. Pretty baller website. I hate passive aggressive notes, I feel like it intensifies the tension and drama. Anyway, next topic.

Ew. Food { I love food // I hate watching people eat } . I was on the bus yesterday { or the day before } and I was sitting about a foot an a half from a girl who was eating, and I was facing her. It made me so uncomfortable. Watching her eat. I felt as if I was invading her privacy. It seemed so intimate. Satisfying you're self in that way just seems so intimate. It was as if I was watching her have sex right there in front of me. If felt that intense. I was disgused by it. I hope no one ever watches me eat.

Maybe its different while you're eating as well, or maybe it depends on the person, or you're relation to them. It's not as if I always feel this way.

Tattoo Finale?

I think thats it. I do. I don't think that theres much more that can be done. It looks perfect. My favorite part now is the waves with the sun. Hopefully I can have some color [ I won't get it if it won't show up well on my skin ]. But maybe Red and Orange for the sun, dark blue waves, dark red mountains, and dark green for the vines [ including the treble clef ]. Shades of black for everything else. I'm really obsessed with this tattoo. In every class I try drawing it, and when I come up with an idea that I like I just stare at it continuously. I've been going back and forth between scrolling up and looking at the image and typing. It feels so right. Thats what I'm happy about. It feels so right to have this as my tattoo. I started looking up tattoos on dark skin, and someone brought up getting a keloid [ which is more common on dark skinned people ] but they generally develop on people who are prone to them, and I have never gotten a keloid and I have a good number of scars and piercings already so I doubt I'll have any trouble.

I'm really excited. I hope that I can get it this weekend. I'll have to call my friend and find out if she set an appointment and with which artist she used. There's a tattoo place near by which I've always heard good things about named 'Revolver'. So I'll probably go over there.

I want to plug my other blog again, { The Lucid Dream Experiment } because it is good. And it will become better and better. Dreamwise I was a bit disapointed last night but we'll see how things go tonight.

Unfortunately I have to skip band practice tonight because I have a TON of work to do [ I'm procrastinating at the library right now ]. I just realized how I have an exam tomorrow and I have to much reading to do, then at 5 I have to meet for a group meeting, and I have a difficult HW assignment due tomorrowm, AND I have one or two exams [ I'll have to confirm 1 ] on tuesday which I have to start studying for as well. My minds gonna explode but I NEED to bring in the grades. OK!

I've been looking into Salvia lately. It is a legal way to experience hallucinations. The scary thing is that has a high rate of having 'bad trips'. But it only lasts for about 3-5 minutes, and if I try the lowest dose it shouldn't be such a bad deal. It is natural, used by native americans and all that.

NEWS!

This is from an article on MSNBC.com which I think was writen by the NYTimes. Firstly, I thought it was hilarious. But to highlight what i think is awesome the next part mentioned how they we're saying 'Sunni's and Shiite's are brothers!' I think that's so awesome. This is all because a bridge had opened back up. I think its pretty awesome. This makes me feel like we are doing good over there. However, the only reason the bridge was closed, was because of violence about 3 years ago, which we can safetly assume was a direct resulf of the Iraq war. So are we doing more good then we did damage, I'm not sure. Maybe eventually.

The artical also mentioned that Iraqis were very happy to see Barack Obama elected citing that they hope that he can change the policies towards Iraq. I wonder if they are interested in a with drawal from Iraq? The interesting thing however is that the troops will go straight from Iraq into Afganistan. I can forsee Obama having a low approval rating already. No one wants our troops in another country. I dunno...we'll see, gotta keep our hopes high.


I'm so cliche' me. The above statement is from a post about a year ago. My first post in 2008 I believe. I'll still never find that girl. I still feel that statement. How come I have to wait so long to solve my problem? How come I have never solved my problem. I think maybe I'll do a low strength Salvia this weekend. We'll see how that goes.