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Thursday night, or Friday morning 1:55AM. Which ever you prefer, take your pick. I think I'm funny. I wasn't going to go out tonight but I did. I do that almost always. I just like to go out. Anyway, I went to a party with a bunch of kids from back at home, it was fun. Its always fun hangin with those kids. They're great, I really love my friends from home, and my roommate is great too. I hope that I see those kids more often. My friends girlfriend said to me that the girls in her dorm love me...I honestly don't know a single other girl in her dorm, how is that possible? She said and I quote, 'they use her facebook to look at me'. Dude, where the fuck are these girls when I'm looking for them! God damn. Its like the other day, I was searching everywhere, even in the obvious and completely desolate areas of my room, couldn't find it. Turns out it was in the most obvious place where I had already checked but not close enough. Turns out these girls are right under my nose, just not looking close enough. Like a douche bag.

Halloween! Its finally here, the greatest day ever. Except, I'm not a kid any more? Yea that's a question. I'm not a kid anymore? It stinks. I'm too old to trick or treat, instead I have to steal my younger sisters grand bag of candy when I go home(probably to eat). But for us older folks it essentially means parties where we dress up(where the most stressful part is coming up with a costume) and drinking alcohol. Sometimes pumpkin flavored. Or apple cider oriented. Anyway tomorrow I'll be going out to some of these parties, and hopefully Saturday.

Of course as always I'll give you a complete review of my weekend top to bottom. Thursday - Sunday. Funny how in college a weekend starts a day earlier regardless of how early your class is Thursday is still a weekend. So now instead of 3/7ths of the week u have 4/7ths. Thats a big deal, only 3 days dedicated to work? I guess you have to count Sunday because regardless of its affiliation with relaxation, it is still a day often dedicated strictly to work that was put off. Even families put off work and save it for Sunday.

There my house mate was again(from now on I will attempt to refer to my house mates as housemates(ppl in my house) and roommate as roommate(person sharing my room)), alone. I feel for her. She actually said this time, 'I always end up alone'. Its sad. I wish she didn't because she is great. Maybe its because she has my same problem as a pisces of adaptability but not exactly the ability to really get close to everyone. So shes friends with so many people here but not overly close, also, shes is overly conscious of it which I believe makes her try too hard sometimes. Ok, I do have to go to bed, I have an earlllly morning. I'll hit you up tomorrow when I complete my homework and study at the library, AKA, blogging time.

<3

Getting Raw

Getting Raw. So I wanted a picture for my post and I typed in 'getting raw' into google and nothing with guitars came up so then I typed 'getting raw guitar' and this old thing came up. I thought it would be a good pick. Shes kind of sexy. Total slut though, not my type. If it were a real guitar it would be better. But anyway.

Quick rant related to my last post:

The other thing is that my house mate that wants to move out always says to my other house mate who is fake to her best friend, 'I took the garbage out all summer' or ' I cleaned the bathroom all summer' or I cleaned the kitchen all summer'. Which are all legitimate lies. I wont give him no credit, but honestly we all did all of that. And we all worked to keep things clean, and since it was only the three of us at that time(not the girl another roommate) it wasnt hard. We didnt even take garbage down that much only when the landlords complained and then I would do it on my own. Maybe once or twice he took it out without me, maaaaybe. At the max. And he's making it sound like I did nothing! Like he did it all, or like our other roommate did nothing, when we probably did the most. Bull shit.

Ok so to today. Overall I felt good, studied in the morning, went to class which was actually a little interesting. Made a rediculously good dish with potatoes, asparagus and garlic. Thats it with a few spices and a couple table spoons of olive oil and one Tbls of ranch. Sooo great roasted in the oven to perfection I was very proud of myself. Then I went to band practice. Apparently I'm in a band now. This band is really good its made up of a bunch of people I have been in bands with in the past except for one girl. But I've known her a while. The band has been around for I'd say atleast a year now and the other guitar player is out of this world and has a greattt set up for recording at his place. The bands name is 'Lux Astra' check um out, or I guess now 'us' out. I normally wouldn't link to something that so obviously can give away my true identity ha but whatever, what happens happens. I have about 1 month to learn all of the songs and get them tight which wont be easy because they are not easy to play. Unless maybe you're the guitar player form All That Remain(ATR).

It makes me happy to know that they want me in their band, and it makes me happy to finally know that I will be playing with a band again. Being in a band is like being in a family. You always see eachother, hang out, create together, fight, I mean its great. Everything about being in a band is really awesome even when its not. Lig-e-wis, life is good even when its not. I think I might get ligewis on my tattoo somewhere. Hm well something to think about, I think I'm going to pass out now. I'll see u when I see you.

Things do change

It was the first snow of the season today. The weather has been all out of wack. Blame global warming? Who knows. I woke up knowing that it felt weird, I specifically opened my window because of this feeling and bam! snow. I'm pretty much psychic. Just kidding. Anyway, I have been feeling good in general, hitting the gym every day which feels good, doing alright in school, connecting with old friends, but, something is off again. What you ask?

My housemates. This weekend when I went out Friday to my friends house( this first one) with my roommates when everyone was matched up as I described it earlier, I kind of just sat back, drank and observed. And it sucked hearing two of my roommates talk about how one of them wants to move out( first time I ever heard that), and the other one saying that she doesn't know what she would do without him blah blah, saying that she's not really friends with are other roommate(who is essentially her best friend). I mean I feel like both of them are just being soooo two faced. I make a really serious attempt to keep every thing clean and be respectful of everyones bounds, I truely do put in more of my share to keep things unified in the house so people don't run around blaming others for this and that, I'll just do it. Also, I make a serious attempt to be friends with, and spend time with everyone but it's obviously not reciprocated.

Lets just break it down. My one roommate wanting to move out and saying nothing to anyone about it, just staying like a silent bitch when I've been working to try and keep him happy pisses me off. Pretty much its a slap in the face saying, "I can't stand living with you."

My other roommate says that her best friend is not her friend anymore, but they are just pretending? We'll what are we doing then? I'm trying to be friends with you and make a closer knit house but you don't even care about you're best relationship what makes me think you give a shit about our relationship? Fuck that. It makes me feel that trying is senseless.

My horiscope on monday stated,
{{
"Hey, loosen up there! You can't become too obsessed with every little detail in life. Everything is what it is -- some things can be changed, but some things cannot be. You'll be doing yourself a huge favor by understanding the difference between the two, especially in your personal life. Problems could arise in a partnership if you are nwilling to just let things go. You cannot change a person, you can only communicate how their behavior affects you."
{{

I mean sometimes horiscopes are useless, I hate anything to do with money or finance in you're horiscope its so unspritual if thats the right word. But anyway, this really kind of communicated something to me. Should I just loosen up? Probably. I mean a lot of things with people just piss me off, my own roommate(in my actual room who I've talked about who I feel like is my teammate, my wingman, you know?) gets on my nerves sometimes. Too much politics with him, he gets lazy with going to the gym sometimes when we promised we'd go, and things like that sometimes just piss me off. But I do have to let it go or I'll end up pushing all of my friends away by being pissed at them half the time. I'll have to work on that.

Music.
On the music side of things I keep working to try and write a song and sing. Just doesn't work. But this kid can do it pretty good so check him out.



Definitely inspiring, there are so many talented people in the world. Glad youtube can bring a lot of them together.

I like to make changes

I have been always quite interested in astrology. In zodiac signs and what it all means. I feel like a true Pisces( I'm a march baby). The only thing I worry about is what if I feel like a Pisces just because I am one, I'm generally skeptical of getting caught up in things that are based on loose facts or faith. So how do I know I am really a representative of a Pisces? I think that I want to be because it is something that I can connect with on some level. I don't really have a race(im not white, black, Hispanic, or really I'm all of that).
But anyway, so today I looked over a website that essentially gives in-depth descriptions of each sign. I made sure to look over my sign, the signs of my family members, and a few others just to see what attributes of each I do see in myself and which I don't( and of course compared them to my family as well). It's really interesting how descriptive they are. In many of them there are many similarities however, each does have its over arching, encompassing theme, I definitely Identify with the attributes of a Pisces, the only attribute they discussed specifically that I don't believe is really me is 'Weak-willed and easily led'. These are the other positive and negative general traits of a Pisces:

Imaginative and sensitive
Compassionate and kind
Selfless and unworldly
Intuitive and sympathetic

On the dark side....

Escapist and idealistic
Secretive and vague
Weak-willed and easily led

Hmm, weak willed? Maybe. I don't think so, one thing that I have is will-power. If I want to get something done I will, and I can push myself to the brink. That's actually a defining characteristic that I hold and that I am proud of. My will drives me.

Easily led? Maybe. I can see that, most of my life I did not exactly take a leadership position. But I have made a point to change that, its not easy, its not in my comfort zone, but I do enjoy leadership. In fact, they describe Pisces as those not to work a '9-5' and that is exactly how I describe myself in relation to future working positions. I feel like that something I can't do. That's why I would like to run my own business, be a manager(and I enjoy management). However, they say that we are not meant to be leaders, mostlikely failed leaders, or are too scared to take on positions too high up in companies, potential middle managers at most. I can see that I do have fear of failure in a high ranking position, and maybe my Pisces trait of being idealistic makes me feal I can achieve these goals. Guess I have a lot to consider.

The whole point here right now is that I am pretty sure that I want to get a tattoo. For a long time I had no desire to get one, about a year ago that changed for some reason but I could never get a tattoo if it doesn't have some meaning close to me. I was thinking that maybe something that represents a Pisces symbol would be good because I feel that it would represent me. But I want to draw it. I don't want it to be too common and obvious. These are my doodles in class for possibilities, I'll upload more when I come up with them. So far my favorite is the one I boxed in on the bottom. It represents the fish swimming in opposite directions which is one symbol and also incorporates the 'H' pictured above. In the left 'fish' is a treble clef, and the right 'fish' has two dots next to it representing a bass clef, which represent my love of music(which is kind of cliche cause I don't think I know anyone who doesn't love music, not everyone plays it though!). Music is so powerful. I thought maybe get it down the side of my arm from the shoulder to the bottom of my tricep pretty much. I was going to keep blogging but, maybe later. I'll catch up with you soon.

Politics

Its getting extremely close to the election.


9 days? Technically its Monday, so next Tuesday which is 8 days away, just over a week will decide the fate of our nation. Take a look at this NY Times Electoral Map. I am a liberal if you didn't know. I don't want to offend any Conservatives on this blog, I do respect your ideas and I very often agree with some of them, but mostly I don't.

After taking a look at that map, just think about it. Take a look, the more progressive states, the states with the best most advanced cities, states that want this government to change, and that want a more progressive America, those states lean on the Democratic side. Why can't we all agree that a separation of church and state is essential? Why can't we all agree that we should all be equal(aka gay marriage)? Why can't we all agree that racism is wrong? And why can't we all agree that 100 more years in Iraq is NOT worth lives of our soldiers and the estimated 200,000 up to 1.2 million estimated Iraqi civilians killed by a direct result of our occupation of Iraq. I mean I have friends that are conservative, I don't like it thought.

How can you vote for McCain for the simple fact that if he dies our county will actually be run by Sarah Palin?!

Honestly, I don't hate him. But I do think that he is not going to bring about almost anything that I am looking for in the future. Maybe I'm just swayed by Obama's poetic speech and strong, seemingly honest demeanor. I think that immersing yourself in politics is definitely bad for you, there's no need to watch Youtube videos, read the paper, watch 24/7 CNN and so forth all day every day. But do pay attention. And do vote. I do want everyone to vote regardless of which way. But I do want the US to become a more progressive nation, much like much of Europe. We are not the 'Free-est' we are not the smartest, we are not the best. But I do like it here, and I think we have the potential to be the best.

Alright, so now I'm going to go to bed now. I'll see you all tomorrow.

Sunday

Hello. Its Sunday again.

I'm definitely a fan of Sundays in general because they are a good day to just relax and get things done. I'm at the library now of course and I have to get my blogging out of the way so I can focus on studying. It's weird how much I think about blogging now, it's like Facebook where you just go on it all the time, I feel like blogging all the time. It's weird I feel like. But, anyway.

This was another successful weekend. Me and my roommate had a blast Thursday as you know, and then Friday came. Friday was fun, I didn't go to class like an idiot which I think I wrote about already and then I studied for a bit, went to the gym, and then went to hang with my younger sister at home. We went out to get some chinese take out and then came back home to watch 'The Life Aquatic' which is such an awesome movie anyone that wants a new movie to watch definitely pick that up!

After the movie I jetted back home and pretty much right when I got back I grabbed a beer, sucked it down within a few measly minutes and went over to our friends house. This kid is pretty cool, really cool actually I hope that I'll be better friends with him soon, but I was bored. Just drinking and kind of being a loner there because everyone was pretty much paired up with they're BFF and I was just chillin. So I bounced around 1 to go to my other friends house, had a good time and just bounced home around 3.

That was too many sentences for a boring day so I'll keep saturday short. Heres saturday in 3 sentences. Woke up, ate, gym, got ready, went to philly, (view picture up top) went to Paddy's pub with my friends from my ex-Internship. Had a good time there, love seeing those people, came back to NB around 1, went out again to my friends party, picked my other friend up and went to my other friends house. Ended up with my friend back at my house ordered some food and just chilled out.

Phew, that was pretty much just a bunch of fragments seperated by commas but who cares?

Two new revelations:

Music
I love wierd girl singers, ex. Feist, Regina Spektor, and all those wierdos, I think they're awesome. Check um out if you havn't yet. And no, I'm not gay lol( not that I have anything against gay's). So anyway, but I feel like the market is flooded right now. I mean you see these wierd girl singers all over the place now, just watch some MTV or go on Pandora.com type in Feist and see how many similar girls there are. I liked it better when they're were less of them. They're still awesome though. I guess its just like the new big wave.

Here's one example from Ingrid Michealson :

Here's one from Feist(Live - watch her sing its so wierd) -

I love nights out with friends and just kind of chillin, and drinking, and having a good time, not really going out specifically to get laid, I mean it has to be on the back burner of course, but not going out to huge parties looking for girls. I really came to realize this over the weekend because I have a much better time when I'm just trying to chill with my dudes and we meet up with some girls and we all just kind of chill around and drink instead of being packed in a basement. My new goal is to attend as many parties like this as possible.

__________________________________________________________________

Ok, so last thing. It's getting too cold out. Anyone agree? I do.

I just like to write//Great night

Its weird that I write these blogs to myself. Secretly I want random people to read them and give me feedback, I think it would be interesting positive or negative.

Last night was awesome. I really expected it to pretty much be just like that too, I wanted like a fun night out just hanging out drinking not like spying out hoes and being in a random person's basement shelling out 5's every time the cops come(not to pay the cops but to pay for the new party lol). We hung out at our house for a bit drank watch some television and then we strolled over in the freezing cold(it was probably like 47 degrees or something(inside joke)) and we came up to a street that was even further out from campus then our own lol. But we had a blast, just chilled out, met some new people, enjoyed the company of a few old friends and both my roommie and I had like our 'night out girlfriend'.

Night out Girlfriend(NoG) - {the girl that you chill with all night, she hangs by you're side and you enjoy each others company, often leads to sex.}

So it was fun having them around. Both girls definitely wanted to hook up with both of us respectively(not an orgy). But by the time we left it was like past 4am and I just didn't feel like playing the NoG-NoB games any more, so I left. Hopefully I'll end up hooking up with her another night, but its good to know what my options are, right? <- this is actually a good girl too, and cute. Interesting. I'm going to post up here my new invention soon, its a mate chart to help you pick if a girl should be you're friend, sexual partner, or girl friend. It will help men all over the world make the decision in a few easy steps. Really its just taylored to my preferences. I have not yet completed it but once I do I'll have it up here, hopefully tonight or tomorrow for sure.

After a few hours of moderate-moderately heavy drinking we all smoked at my friends house. As you know, I am not a big smoker of the weed, but I really enjoyed it last night. I was crackin up all over the place, and my roomie was havin a blast too. I'm very happy overall.

The upslope has continued. I'm actually taking my younger sister out to dinner tonight, she needs that support. I may have mentioned that I was thinking about taking her out to lunch a little while ago, but that never happened so we're doing dinner instead. See how everything's going in her life. I know grades arn't doing that well for one.

Back to girls for a minute. Haha sorry I can't stop with it. Three quick topics

- girl from old job came over to do her laundry and we just chilledout, but its a good sign towards just hanging out with her more which could lead to all types of things.

- girl I had sex with a few weeks back that I've known for a few months(7ish?) sent me a multimedia message that makes me suspect to her level of attachement to me(as in she may be quite attached in a way that I'm not) and this girl is really cool so I'm not trying to fuck her over or anything at all.

- christian girl from home, she has kept in contact with me over the week and made a note to me that she is here again this weekend so chances are we will chill and I'll let you know how that goes.

Funny thing is sometimes I use these girls names on here and sometimes I choose not to. I wonder what the difference is? But if you can't correlate the names to descriptions through my blogs then just leave a comment and I'll make sure to clarify. Ok I'm going to actually get to reading for my management class now. (I got a 90 on another exam so that was a good deal).

Peace babes.

Dear Journal, its been a good day

Let me start with a small rant.

Just go on YouTube and type 'Fred' into the search bar. (side note; my roommates watching political video's which he really immerses himself in which is unhealthy i feel like in a way but we all have our bad habits lol I guess selective education isnt the worst, but he's watching them kind of loud and its annoying me, side note completed) Just watch one of these rediculous videos, I couldn't handle it. This kid must be making a ton of money from the YouTube partnership program because he is the #1 most subscribed all time and shit. Wow, I feel like thats just dumb, how rediculous? I just typed fred into google and its the same deal, the second one is his dumb ass.

Yes I am a hater. I am hating on him for being so popular for rediculously unfunny, annoying videos. I mean I watched this other kid who was kind of retarted but actually funny Dave Days, look him up that shits legit. I mean he's got clever songs, and its funny, watch the Miley Cyrus spoof totally hilarious. And its not in a wierd voice and all wierd, fuck that. Haha, this is funny too.

I just spent like 40 minutes watching more of those videos haha.

Anywayyyy, today was a good day, woke up, studied, went to class, watched a bit of behind the scenes to the movie, "Once" which I highly recommend of course and then went out to dinner with my old homies from work. Such a blast. I miss those kids a lot, I think we'll probably all see eachother a bit more often now that we saw eachother, everyone had a good time. Ok so I know I probably talk about different girls who I wanna fuck every blog, sometimes the same sometimes different but I have two more to post up here who I know I have spoken about in the past.

• One is just a girl I worked with a while ago and her personality is just so different and shes definitely damn cute but her personality just makes her so much sexier definitely makes me want to fuck her. So theres one.
• And two, is the girl I have been in love with for the past 2 years who I've mentioned many times. I recieved a Fbook comment from her and it just makes me want to slap her. I feel like I never want her to talk to me because it makes me think about her that much more. I admit to being jealous of the dude that shes unofficially 'with'. Very jealous. I would love to be that guy but unfortunately I can't be and it wont change. Its interesting that when I think of this girl I dont think about fucking her but more of just chilling out together...I dont see her as sexually, but i do see her as sexy. And most other girls I see mostly as pure objects.

I definitely objectify the shit out of girls. But not to their face, I want to change that...Continue objectifying them but just do it to their face more. I really should go to bed, I have an exam in the morning. I think I'm going to resolve to skip class in the morning and just go to my exam. Get a bit of extra sleep. That resolution makes me feel like continuing to blog. Everytime I think the word blog, I think about a scene in Californiacation(an awesome show!)

Eh peace

Freaked out morning

I was riding the bus this morning(not standing up thankfully) and I was hangin out on my iPhone doing that old deal when I came upon a facebook message. Totally freaked me out because the title was from one of my roommates and it read, "I am appalled by you're behaviour" or something like that and in the body of the message was a link to a blogger profile of course my heart skipped a few beats thinking she may have found this blog. Definitely scared me, but I guess I kind of have to let it be. I dont wanna be such a pussy that I'm so scared anyone ever finds this, if it happens it happens.

DISCLAIMER:
I appologize in advance if any of my friends find this and find the content to be appalling or unfair, rude, unlike me, mean, vulger, too sappy, sad, emo, and etc. This blog certainly reflects my many different moods at any given time, and each mood certainly contains a constant theme, that I'm sure is easily extracted.

I feel better having that little disclaimer in there. :)

So anyone that knows me probably now knows that I am inlove with the show 'It's always sunny in philadelphia' which is just the most awesome and hilarious show. And this saturday I will have the pleasure of going to paddy's pub which the show's pub is based off of. I'm pumped, so pumped. I hope I don't get stabbed lol.

Mmm, unfortunately I feel like I don't have too much to say...my roommate was just listening to some girl country singer lol, just thought I'd through that out there. Alright here's some news.

Theres this girl that I want to fuck so bad. Its crazy everytime I see her name on facebook on my feed I click it and stalk its so bad. I just think she's so sexy in a bad ass kind of way. Shes thin small and so sexy, great face too. Damn I want to fuck her more then anyone else for sure. I gotta make it my goal to fuck her before I leave school. Its doable, the only thing is she's friends with my Ex and when I was flirting with her before she'd be like but what about ur ex. And id be like fuck that bs.

I want to so bad be able to write a good song. Guitar's the easy part it could be two power chords, but with awesome lyrics and a good vocal melody and rythm it would be something completely new and I want that. I just have a lot of trouble puting my heart on my sleave like that for the world to see. Obviously look how much I freak just over the possibility that someone might see this lol. Singing a song to someone, even the idea of having someone hearing me sing in my room freaks me out because I know I can't sing lol. Im dumb.

It impresses me that a website like youtube can be sold after less then 2 years running for over 1 billion dollars. Isn't that insane? It's worth over a billion dollars, and that was a while ago, its worth way more now.

I feel like an asshole because I'm thinking I may not go to one of my friends parties and she obviously really wants me to go but in the end we probably wont even spend that much time together, its like an hour away and I dont really know any of the people that are going to be there. I just don't know how to tell her that I probably won't be coming. I dont want to be douche bag, nahm sayin?

Well I think I'm going to pass out. I'll see u

Case of the Mondays

Monday night. Tired.

I picked up a new set of speakers for my room. They're awesome so far. You know I definitely kind of wish I had a single right now, most of the time I dont really mind I guess, but sometimes I want it. Like right now I wish I could blast my music, I want to just jam out or relax to my music blasted though. But I feel like, what if he doesn't want it that loud and shit you know? Its annoying, and you know if I ask of course he'll say yes because we're both just like that too nice. I think about living by myself completely a lot. Getting one of those apartments down the street, studios, like 700 a month. Probably like 800 or more with utilities and cable and everything. But it would be nice, and then I could get a dog lol. I really want a dog. I realize thought that I wanted a dog more before when I was lonelier, im not qite as lonely now. Things are still going well for me.

I've been tallying up the girls that I know I could make my girl friend If I really wanted to. I'm at 2 lol but I think I may be approaching 3 based off of some new knowledge. I'm going to try to make this list grow, the more girls I have on there the more likely I find one that I will actually want to make my girl.

So I did really bad on my Management exam, but I did really well on my operations management exam. I'm still waiting on exams in a few classes and I have one more exam to take for my midterms to be done. I really love this CD, its the 'Once' soundtrack. Great great CD. Mesmerizing. Both musicians really bring a ridiculous rawness and emotion to each song that you don't find in so much music nowadays. So many bands use so much electronic modification and touching up and don't leave the realness of the song to be had(I enjoy this music too) but 'Once' lets it be and its awesome!

I made reservations for me and the old crew from my fav job ever to grab some dinner. Im pretty excited, we havn't all been together in who knows how long. Atleast since last january... Almost a year its crazy. I miss um, I miss it. It was my jam, the greatest life I had I feel like. Personal opinion. But who knows, I feel like I was somewhat unhappy then to, just in a different way. Being there was always great. Isnt that wierd, like being at a job was the best. But it wasn't really a job, it was like hanging out with you're friends, drinking, getting starbucks, gambling, laughing, god and I never really took it for granted either. Normally, when you have something good you take it for granted, but at that time I knew how great it was. I'm just in one of those moods right now.

I tried to cook tofu with corn starch, didn't work out too well, I think I'm going to look up a recipe and figure out a good one. I just burnt the garlic too much I feel like, and the tofu didn't take enough of the flavor. I really need to get some soy sauce or timari. I need ginger lol now that I'm looking at some reciepes and some bread crumbs will do me well also...and more oil. I'm hungry, but I did eat a full meal about 4 hours ago. Definitely a good full meal, and I just had a slice of cake...I'm a fatty. But I have resolved to go to the gym daily, I went yesterday and today and I'm going to keep up with it like I used to. I'm going to try to write a song of sorts.

Its been real

This weekend has been real. This week has been real.

Let me tell you about my weekend so that I can even remember it, it flew by and not too much exciting occurred but it was definitely fun.

Thursday: I actually did not want to go out for once. I just didnt really feel like it which is wierd, and its not because I'm depressed or something, I just wasn't in the mood. Cool huh? An Alchy like me. Stayed in, passed out pretty early and just watched some TV and shit.

Friday: This was a really cool night, drove up to CT with my friends and we went to see a show in New Haven. Of course I drove(my friends car lol) and it was like 4.5hrs there and 2.5-3 back or so. Not short when its 3am. I was a bit dissapointed in Trivium who I used to be a pretty big fan of but I feel like they we're almost trying to hard or not being who I thought they were from their album. Very full of themselves. Then All That Remains went on. Let me tell you, they were so awesome! It opened my eyes to how good they really are, catch riffs, head banging craziness, I actually went into the pit and went wild because I just really felt the music.

The wierd thing about metal is that, the feeling that it gives you is truely the feeling to go tear someone apart. Is that wrong? I dont think so, but its probably not for everyone, and I think that's something that I have to realize. Because I feel that everyone should love it because the feeling is truely empowering. I love it. Its not like going to a John Mayer or Coheed concert( two musical acts that I also love.) Its a different type of experience. So as a last word, if you like metal please check out All That Remains because they are totally awesome.

Finally,
Saturday: Good day? I'd say so. you know I had a lot of friends around on this day which always makes me feel good, and friends from all over. It makes me feel good to know that my friends from home still want to hang out and all that because its been so long since I have truely been home. So at 12noon Hanna shows up to my crib, they're are a bunch of people drinking because the RU game was starting(I literally woke up 11:45 and had two beers and a bagel for breakfast ha). Hanna and I of course went to go get bubble tea her favorite shizzle, and went to the mall to find her some shoes. Its fun to hang out with her, shes always good to hang with and talk to, and shes cute too so that always makes things good right? Then troy and austin met up with us and hanna had to bounce and we went back to my crib. Same kids were there drinking still haha, and we just kept drinking til like 7. Played some pong, ate some good food, and hung out with those kids who I havn't really hung out with in a while from school. The affection I get from some of these people is always great for me, I need it since I dont have like a steady girl, I need something. At the show friday I saw a lot of girls hanging on their dudes and it made me really crave that, I miss that. Anyway, they left and I took a nap(tried to atleast beacuse other people came and it was loud). Got up and max and 'neal?' came over, I'm really bad with names I've known this kid for like 3 or 4 years and dont remember his name. But they're both awesome to hang out with and really good to talk to. And thats that, passed out really early(well for a saturday like 1) and here I am.

I realized that one of my roommates(and not just one but one imparticular) is very much in my situation. Has friends but always kind of ends up alone somehow at the end of the night, and she's one of the most beautiful girls I know. Makes me feel bad for her because I feel like it makes her doubt herself, when she shouldnt. I think I should tell her that one day. So it has been real. This was an extremely detailed post. I dont usually go into so much detail I feel like with names and all that. I think I realized that its just like fuck it, this is me, this is my blog and if a friend finds it thats what happens, and it is what it is.

I think I'm gonna leave it there for now. And I'll hit ur ass up later. Peace.

Slam

Weekend.

Things were good this weekend. Had a lot of fun, and too much beer, and too much Keystone Ice.
Keystone Ice, let me make some suggestions for anyone considering drinking this beer. Don't. The next morning - late afternoon you will feel so terrible, it will make you so unproductive, stick to keystone light and just drink more. It will make a noticible difference. Trust me.

So I have been continuing to talk to the Ex, its been fun, its been interesting and brings back a lot of feelings and it feels like we've always been talking. You know? I know that if nothing we can be good friends for sure, I feel like I want to be there for her, and that she will be there for me in the future. And thats important to me.

Next, religion again. I have another note to make. Religion is too large of a player in this presidential race, and in our world. It scary. Its dumb. Think about it. All religion is there for is to make people feel better about themselves and their death. And the death of others. So fuckin dumb. It makes people dumber, it makes people put their blind faith into some rediculous ideal. It ruins people, and instills prejudice. Think about gay marriage, think about slavery, major wars, on going oppression, all created by religion. It attempts to legimimize the most rediculous things. It is what it is I guess though.

Watching pearl harbour. this is a pretty good movie. Isn't it wierd that Japan was such a large enemy of ours, we went from destroying them with the A-Bomb to protecting them with our army because they have no standing army of their own. A very honorable thing in my oppinion. I feel like im mispelling alot of things, but it is what it is. This girl in the movie is so cute, who is it?

I really have to make a legitimiate promise to myself to go to the gym and start running because I am slowly gaining weight, and being fat is one of my worst fears. I never understood how people were able to allow themselves to become so overweight and im not even close to being overweight but I need to get back to a six pack. Big time necessity. The more I fuck the more I lose wieght haha so I should fuck a lot too.

Talks.
I had a really good talk with my mom and with my roommate this weekend. Breakthrough talks you know? You know what you are talking to someone and you know that you connected with them on a new level, doesn't need to be to large a step but they let you in just a little bit more, and you let them in just a little more. I really enjoyed these talks, I think it will help me help them more, and vice versa most likely. Theres that much less to be known about eachother and that much more that can be learned. I actually learned surprisingly that my mom was pregnant before she got married, she was pregnant with my sister before my parents were married and did mention that that was certainly a factor in their marriage. No wonder, two children, and thirteen years later they divorced. They dynamic of my family is very interesting. My dad is his own person, my mom wants to be like other people, my sisters are both angry and happy, both so similar that they can't get along, and I have my own oddities and inticacies that stop me from being close to many, but do allow me to be close to all of my family members. Immediate family atleast.

I have to get ready to go to class now so I'm going to do that. Ill catch u soon.

Earnest Makes Run

A whole new name. I don't know exactly what made me choose this name, it doesn't really have an exact meaning but I will come up with one, it represents my initials.

Market Watch
I'm watching a CNBC right now, 'Fast Money'! Boy is shit going crazy right now. It worries me, but at the same time, I'm confident that we will be bouncing back fairly soon. It's surely not going to be quick, but over a few months I think we will see markets stabilize and bounce back. I began investing more money actually. My portfolio is down 33%, but I can't let that stop me, I see all of this as an opportunity, everything is so down! Its like buying anything else cheap, cars, food, clothes, except instead of just stocking up this will end up worth a lot more then I purchased it at within a year I believe. I'm betting that I will be back up in two months from today.

Life Watch
My life is now stabilizing and will soon up turn again. I had sex with a new girl this weekend. Slam. Slam is my new word. So thats pretty good, it only happens so often haha, and im knocking down that to do list. Hopefully I'll get another girl this weekend(maybe tonight) or I'll get another one by next weekend is my certain goal. I attempted to write a few blogs but I got distracted. I feel that my game is at an all time high right now, and I believe its on the rise. I'll draw a graph when I get on my computer and post it up here. Day by day I see how girls really just want to fuck. They want to hook up, just like dudes do. My roommate(a girl) said a week ago before going out, "Can I make out with someone tonight?!" of course she can. Why not? And you know what making out leads to. Food. No, no, sex, duh. So, I'm pretty much banking on that theory. I just signed up for Twitter, under this name Earnest Meets Run, look it up, 'follow' me. I think I'm going to start spreading my seed around to all these social networking sites. They really interest me. They're fun, I read how they have surpassed porn, and that they 'are' porn. I believe it, its self gratification I guess. So what, I like being gratified lol. I'll tell you I do this more often then I do HW. I should be reading for class that I have in 50 minutes right now...but I'm not. I'll still get a 3.5, I believe I will. I'll do it.

I looked back to my old blogs a while ago, they really are all about the same thing, in the back of the day it was about girls, and my job, now its about girls and my life. Which was my job ha. I loved that job. But I wanted to specifically note about a blog I wrote about a year ago titled, "Out of Mind" experience. I haven't had any out of mind experiences any more. I used to have them consistently and now I no longer have them. I'm curious of what that means, no longer really viewing my life in that way. Anyway, I'm outtie mctoutie. I'll write again soon, don't you worry.

Girls, Girls, Girls

I dont remember what the last situation I wrote about last time. But anyway, I realized this week, and I do realize this from time to time but it is certainly even more clear now. There are so many sluts in this world, and at my school, and outside of my school, all grades. I mean, so many. And I'm not trying to put them down, do what you do, just live. Fuck, I'm trying to slut it up some more. I realized also that my game is at an all time high right now and it is only going to get better. I'm happy about that and ready to go out and give it another whirl with some more ladies. Obviously things are going pretty well lately, but I still do not have any real solid friendships or anything unfortunately. I have a few good friends but I really do think I need to expand my friendships with current friends and find new ones.

I worry a lot about pregnancy and getting STD's, and I dont think about it when I'm fucking haha. Its so dumb lol. But I'm not exactly trying to wait for marraige or anything. Hopefully I'm clean and I don't impregnate anybody. I really really hope. You know whats weird? We talked about religion a little while ago, and obviously I'm not religious at all. So why anytime that I need something that is out of my control do I immediately resort to praying? I'll think, man I pray shes not pregnant, or whatever. Please god help me blah blah. I mean I shouldn't be thinking that If I don't believe in a god necessarily...But I don't exactly not believe that there is a greater power or energy in the world, something greater then all of us. And this is what I may be kind of calling for. Its out of my hands, so who can I turn to? Only something greater.