What about the code of the ocean?

So here is the official update. Life has certainly changed a whole lot for me since the last time I've been here. I'm not sure how long ago my last blog post was, but it certainly must be atleast a month ago. From now on I feel like writing things in a business letter or paper format. I'll state my thesis and go from there to belabor my points.

Let me preface my thesis, which I originally did not intend on doing with a short excerpt from
My life. Within the past 3 weeks I have fallin for this girl. She's so cool, and I really like her. You have only heard me day that I like a girl about one other person, guarenteed. This is special for me. Luckily for me, she also likes me, and without getting into the details of the scenario we hooked up. She happens to be a good friend of mines ex. Did I make a mistake? No, I am really begining to see the light in this situation. Long story short, he is furious and has it out for me, more complicated then I can describe on this iPhone

Thesis: I am at an interesting intersection of my life because I have choices to make about my friends, my lovers, and myself that I have never had to face before.

My friends.

I can tell who my real friends are. Actually, I am in the process of discovering who they are. Most of my band is certainly in the circle, one of them is on a thin line currently because he betrayed me, but I understand how and why he did it, and he knows he is at fault. Some of my friends see my point of view, some care to take the time out to see it. Some choose to see only one side and sit back and assume the worst of me, that I fucked over my friend. Are they really my friends? Are they people I care to have as friends? If this situation did not shed light on who I can and cannot count on, then what about when I really needed someone in the future? What if something worse had happened? Who could I count on then? Now I know. I want to give a shout out to mikeyx, jimmy, anthony, dano, brett and pat. You'll never read this or know about it, but I sincerely appreciate your ability to recognize both sides of this fiasco.

At what point did I realize this would become a fiasco? This situation are the vines that climb up the bricks of a old brownstown building in Brooklyn. When the seeds began to sprout no one was aware that one day the vines would break apart the bricks and creep underneath the floors. I never realized. And now Im caught up inside the house wondering how I should handle this pest.

My lovers.

Is this girl worth all of the trouble? Does that even matter? Why should it? Why shouldn't I be with her even temporarilly if she's making me happy? We are having a good time. Who should tell me I can do that? I should stop out of a friends jealousy? Who is more selfish here, is it myself? Or is it my friend? I truly do not know the answer. Do I want a relationship?don't I know that this girl isn't right for me? Why do I want her so bad? Why do I have so many questions? All I know is that I don't need to sit around wondering what if, and what could have been?

What could have been?

I'll have to finish this blog later, fingers getting tired.